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here are some random bumper stickers. yes, bumper stickers. copyed from my original account.

my mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.
i'm a cruel and heartless b***h, but i'm damn good at it.
i brake for scholars, priests, and no apparent reason.
i brake for.........OH, s**t!!! NO BRAKES!!!
there are two types of pedetrians, the quick and the dead.
three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
all i want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
bill clinton: now 89% fact free!
boldly going nowhere.
buy a gun: support the constitution.
buy a gun: piss off the liberals.
conserve toilet paper: use both sides.
death is god's way of telling you not to be such a smart a**.
despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
i do not believe in miracles, i rely on them.
thou shalt not meddle in thy affairs of thou dragon, for thou art crunchy and go well with ketchup.
doctors say i have multiple personality, but we don't agreee with that.
don't drink and drive: you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
don't piss me off: i'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
don't play stupid with me, i'm better at it.
don't steal, the government hates competition.
due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel will be out.
eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
eat right, exercise, die anyway.
ever forget to think, and then forget to start again?
few women admit their age, few men act it.
god must love stupid people, he made so many!
god wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.
heart attacks...god's revenge for eating his animal friends.
how can i miss you if you won't go away?
i believe there is a place for all of god's creatures...right next to the mashed potatoes.
i can go from zero to b***h in 2.2 seconds.
i can only please one person per day...today is not your day...tomorrow doesn't look good either.
i don't suffer from insanity, i enjoy every minute of it.
if god didn't want us eating his creatures, why did he make them taste so good?
i got lost in thought. it was unfamiliar territory.
i took an IQ test and the results were negative.
i tried to be normal once. i didn't like it.
i wish i was barbie. that b***h has everything.
if barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
if god intended man to smoke he would have set him on fire.
if you're gonna be a turd, go out and lie in the yard.
IRS: we've got what it takes to get what you've got.
it's funny until someone gets hurt. then it's hilarious.
it's not how you pick your nose, but where you wipe the booger.
life's way too short to stay on topic.
lord, please save me from your followers.
politics (pol-i-tics): poli meaning many, tics meaning small, blood sucking parasites.
why be difficult when, with a little effort, you can be impossible?
you're just jealous because the voices only talk to me