I'm just feeling really crappy lately. I know I have the terrible habbit of my crushes just because, as my best friend quoted, "You're in love with the idea of being in love." Which I'm now starting to understand. Die's been saying that since Junior High. I really like how happy I am when I have a crush. When I don't, I'm just a "I don't care" type of b***h. Which is probably better off for me, but I'unno crush feelings are happier than whatever feelings. It could be due to the fact that I'm starting to get up there in age and eventually I do want to get married, maybe even spawn a kid. I don't want to depend on my folks for the rest of my life, but I know right now I'm in no shape to do anything on my own. I need others way too much.
I was super sad yesterday due to my crush coming in, seeing that he didn't work today, then left. Also he didn't even say hi or bye to me. He recently started to after we started talking. I guess he just had things he wanted to do or something. He did love the Chii plushie I gave him. -^^- Shiawase~ moment.
I think I'm just having those random mood swings that pop up once every 6-8 months. It's really not happy at all. I'll be in tears for about five minutes and then just fine like nothing happened. Nothing really caused me to cry, yet nothing is the reason for the tears. I seriously need some kind of balance.
I also need to get my High Wiz up to lvl 200 by tomorrow. She's at 144 right now. Don't think it'll happen for WoE. I really want to stay in this guild too. They're fun people.
Also, I'm almost to the point of talking to the b***h again. I seriously miss my RP buddies, past and present. Malik.. If you read this anytime soon, I said, ALMOST, not going to. I'm still upset at the b***h.
Gah, it took me 30-40 minutes to do this entry. Talking to people online and such, also fighting back those random tears I mentioned earlier. Maybe I need medication?
-Sakura Mikage
 Sakura Mikage · Thu Jul 13, 2006 @ 06:08pm · 0 Comments |
