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There are days, I fight it so hard!

I want to be happy I do, but often I have to convince myself to be Happy, I have to make myself not think of the worst possible futures.

And I do that everyday...I ask for Hugs, and often "I need them" I well...not to be silly, or rude not to be werid, but often "I have to have Hugs" they let my mind go for a moment.

There are only a few things, nowadays that can do that for me in that my mind can wonder or be free for even a short time.

One is sleep, but of course I cant sleep forever, that would be ...To easy.

Another is video gaming. But there isnt enough time in the day.

Religion, I tried that once...I still am slightly religious but it has not been enough.


In all, Im working hard to be happy, please dont make it any harder on me than it already is now.