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Okay, I'll be mia for the next few days since I have to get my apartment ready because I'm babysitting my cousins so their parents can go to Redneck Awareness Weekend--aka Country Stampede. Once this is over I will continue the story.
Who has heard of the
Country Stampede? I know I have. I've lived in the birthplace of the Stampede since day one ten years ago. For those of you who have never heard of this; allow me to explain.
Every year on the last Thursday - Sunday of June, country stars come to Manhattan KS to put on a show for all the rednecks and wannabe rednecks. In a way, it's like a country music fan's Woodstock. It's fun when you aren't suffering from possible heat stroke, going from lobster red sunburn to purple sunburn, getting groped by drunk cowboys (and cowgirls), and seeing uber fat uber white people wearing next to nothing.
Because I don't mind country music that much (though I listen to rock) I can't say anything bad about the music; so I always say go either on Thursday or in the evenings since A) Thursday night and B) evenings are when the better singers are here. Never go when they open the gates--ever. Why? Have you seen a cattle stampede in real life? I haven't either, but I have been there when they open the gates. Country Stampede is aptly name at this time because people STAMPEDE for the best place to stick their lawn chairs where there's no mud pools.
Oh, yeah. Mud pools. Forgot about those. Every year too it rains and there's large pools of mud near the stage and also back by the water buffalos (water buffalo in this case is a large portable tank of water). Every year the camp ground officals where the Stampede is kept say "We do NOT want to host the Stampede again next year!" because of the destruction that's caused. Guess what? They've been saying this for ten years. Why? The country Stampede rakes in major cash (nearly 4x as much during the four days than they do at any other time of the year).
I have only been to the Stampede once or twice because no matter where I've lived near Manhattan or in Manhattan I can always hear the music. When I did go, my favorite act was when Bill Engvall was there (the joke where he has to get pads for his daughter has been going on for quite some time now since he used it when he came). The worst one was when Leann Rimes came and there was a lost little girl and Leann copped an attitude that the girl "bothered her" because the little girl was lost.
Please note, there is at least a good 500-1k people at the base of the dam at the Tuttle Creek State Park so it's damn easy to get lost. And when it comes to leaving? HA! you'd better leave early OR wait until you're the last schmoe out because drunkeness and driving in large crowds does not mix well. OR you cheat ticket prices and park a boat in the water on the other side of the dam and listen there ^_^
Top 10 reasons I no longer go (notes most may have been mentioned above at some point or another)
10. Bugs
9. Mud pools
8. Opening of the gates.
7. Traffic at end of day
6. Bad dancers dancing to country music
5. Oily fat people in bikinis
4. Mass amount of people
3. Groped by strangers
2. 3rd degree sunburns
1. Heat stroke
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