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well,lets see...i feel in one of my depressed moods,and i didnt get alot of time to talk to hiendrich today ((i didnt even get to say goodnight..)) so,im going to write poetry or how im feeling in my journal to relieve stress,and get this pain off my chest.
hopefully this wont be happening anytime soon in the future...*sighs* ok..its a feeling of..."heavyness" ,like theres pressure on my heart.it aches,and it feels so low..i dont know how to describe it...i cant seem to get happy,and at times,its like i dont WANT to get happy...everyone hates to be around me when im like this,even tho i cant help it,so that just makes it worse,and i miss hiendrich so badly..i wont be able to talk to him until NEXT evening,and that seems REALLY far away,especially right now...
a poem of the heart:by edward elric ((part 1?))

i lay here alone, to take no part
in activities i once found fun,because of this pain in my heart
i search inside myself, and ask myself why
when some days im happy,and others i cry
a piece of me feels like its missing,but which i cant say
it keeps me depressed,and ruins my day
people try to help me,but i digress
it just seems to build up inside me, more stress
can i ever be truly happy,without a care
or will i keep living,in agony and despair?
this thing i cant see,the thing that jars ((inside))
this pain inside me,that leaves mental scars
i truely wish to be happy,but alas
i know not,when this pain shall pass
the heavyness of my heart,is too much to bear
for a person like me, all i want is care
i wish to be loved in my time of need
without it,the darkness shall feed
on this heart that seems so bare
all i wish...is for someone who cares.
someone please pull me from this trance
to a place where scenery seems to dance
this special someone,please come soon from above
because i wait for you,only you,to show me love.

((this poem is dedicated to 2 special persons,i hope you know who you are))