I had it all, I let it fall. I let him leave me. The way I wanted, it just wasn't in me. I wanted to keep him, to let him know how it hurt. But after he cried, I felt lower than dirt. He made me so mad, gave me so many promises. I looked upon my dads words. Promises are meant to be kept, I got him back after break #1 then he broke it again not 24 hours after. How could I be so blind? How could I let him go? I told him I'd heard his words, Told him I knew what he was saying. I love him yet, it feels as though he can't see. He made me his pet adn asked me some things. I left a long message. I want the reply. I want him to know how much it hurts me inside. I've had enough s**t, enough for the years. It felt like he was there, only to drive me to tears. I took driving classes to learn faster so I could go visit him. I wanted to see his smile. He knew not what I was planning. My life was all I had, I had him, that was all I wanted. My parents liked him, liked to see me happy and so did my friends. He broke up with me once and they wanted to hurt him, to yell, to scream, to scare him away. I kept them back. Opened my heart and hid some facts from them. I just wanted to be with him. To have someone to hold. I wanted to be there for him to know he was there for me. My world is still without him. Standing still, ever so still. It's all I can do now to keep my heart from breaking in pieces. I healed it once, I can't do it again. He told me he loved me, then just became a friend. It felt bad, I felt dead. I wasn't there, I wasn't alive. I waited for him. I waited to see his responses to what I wrote. Now all I can do is see him off with another though he promised me he'd go with me again. He wanted a break. I let him take it. I felt torn inside. He had ripped my heart up, taken away my pride. I wish I had seen it coming. I wish I could make his doubt go away. I kneel here tonight after the second break. I need him, I want him. Just to know he's there. To know he loves me, to know that he cares. Don't weep for me, don't try to call me dumb. I may have been a fool, but I was a fool for love.
This is actually truth over what happened in my life. I hope I can get him to read this. I just want anyone to read this. No one in my family will tell me things are okay. I believed in him. I believed he was my everything. All that I wanted. I trusted him twice, can I do it again? Can my heart take a third time if he leaves me? I just want someone to hold. Someone to hold me. No one knows it until it's too late. As I hang my head down and look at my life I seem so stupid. My friends didn't know me the way I wish they did. Some, not all do knwo me as I want to be known. Please if you read this leave a comment or drop me a pm. Anything helps at a time like this.
~Razor~
View User's Journal
For more information, visit http://hrshavor.wordpress.com
 |
User Comments: [4] [add]
|
hshaver13 Community Member 
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
ifrit13
Community Member 
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
9 deadly sins Community Member 
|
|||||||||||||||||
User Comments: [4] [add]
Community Member