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There are times i wished.. i had the guts to go anorexic. I tried... I only lasted 2 days before i went mewling for food. I'm so effing fat.... my step dad used to call me fat and make comments on my fatness once every day or every other day. I made a fuss about it and now he stoped, though its only cuz i live in a seperate place than he does. Whenever I see him though, he allways call me fat. He even calls his family and calls me 'little small plump' in chines. Even my mother, my biological mother calls me fat. She flipped out on this black dress I bought. It was tight yet not too much. I thought she was angry cuz it was short and had cleavge. She got mad cuz it showed just how fat I was. She screamed at me and tugged at the fabric, yelled at me to look in the mirror.Said what made me buy such a thing, could I not see in the mirror the rolls of fat that shows? I really am such an effing pig. If I could or had the guts to, I wish I could just grab a knife and cut out the disgusting oozes of rolls of layers upon layers of fat that covers my ugly body. My complexion is another thing she yells at me for. Says im so pimply. Why do I have to be so pimply. God, I really am ugly. No guy would ever date me. People say, 'It's not the looks, I just like the person, the personality," it's a lie. It's a blatant effing lie. Looks -allways- matters. Just the degree that a person rates it varies....