"Now when most people think of Santa Claus, they think of an old fat guy who brings them free stuff on Christmas. This is a common misconception. " What is the truth?" you ask. Well, I'll tell you. When I think of Old Saint Nick, only two words come to my mind: El Diablo.
That's right, Santa Claus is none other than Lucifer himself. First off, look at the name Santa. If you rearrange the letters, it spells the name Satan. Coincidence? I think not. Furthermore, the teachings of the Bible tell us that the path to righteousness comes through hard work and self-sacrifice, not by getting everything for free. And what does Santa do? He gives us a bunch of free stuff. That's right, his real mission is to send us all to Hell.
And that's not all. Santa stole the Christmas spotlight from Jesus. Christmas used to be a religious holiday, now it completely revolves around money. And you know what they say about money: It is the root of all evil.
By now you must believe that Santa is the devil. But his reign of immorality doesn't end there. It is also believed by many that Santa is a raging marijuana abuser. There is more than enough evidence to back this accusation up.
1.Santa is unusually jolly. He also laughs a lot. (i.e. "Ho ho ho!" wink
2.Santa is really fat. This points towards overeating. Can anyone say "The Munchies?"
3.Pictures or representations of Santa are often of Santa smoking a pipe, a device frequently used to smoke marijuana.
4.Santa only works one day a year. Amotivational syndrome is believed to be a side effect of marijuana abuse. One of its symptoms is laziness.
There you have it. Santa is not only the prince of darkness, but he's got a weak spot for the herb, too. So next year, when the holiday season rolls around again, think to yourself about what Christmas is really about: The birth of Christ, or the worship of Satan?"
"Worship ME!" twisted
 raped_virgin13 · Tue May 16, 2006 @ 02:39am · 5 Comments |
