A slightly less funny sequel. Some may laugh, some may laugh. Whatev.
Ness looked at the troll. Stupid trolls! Don't know what's best for them. "I'll fix him later, but not now. Especially that he's agreed to help me. Heh heh heh!"
The troll looked at Ness blankly.
"So, uh, yup. Uh, whadda we do now?"
"We go after the dragon, stupid-head!"
"Oh yeah! I thought it was something concerning Princess Mayonnaise."
"Princess Mayonnaise is dead. ¬_¬"
"Oh yeah! She was killed by the Dark Dragon of 'Evil Mountain'"
"Uhhh, right. ¬_¬"
So Ness killed the troll, since he was way to incompetent for his tastes. He decided, using his psychokenesis, to make the troll explode from the inside out. Ness watched with grim satisfaction as guts flew all over the place. Many people had guts all over them, but they cared not, for these people considered troll guts to be a delicacy. So they ate them up without question. Meanwhile, Ness, donning his "French Maid" outfit, cleaned up the mess. And since nothing was happening, he killed a few bystanders. Then, after finally burying the massive mound of corpses (they were at the ballpark), Ness FINALLY decided to head towards the dragon's lair, which was also inhabited by Eliv the paper clip, the Dark Lord of All Paperclips.
*Inside the Lair*
Eliv the paper clip detached himself from the document and waddled over to Glarischnag. Eliv gave Glarischnag some useless tip that had NOTHING to do with what he was doing at the time, which was making some "creme de la pollo", whatever that is.
"You know, you can indent paragraphs by pressing the 'Tab' button instead of press 'Space'!"
"What the crap? I wasn't even typing anything. And computer's haven't even been invented yet!"
"Oh yeah, right. *shifty eyes* <__< >___>"
"Anyway, I divined in my crystal ball..."
"You don't have one."
"Fine, using my gift of foresight..."
"You don't have that either."
"Fine! I had an educated guess about..."
"You're none too bright, either."
"FINE! I freakin' assumed that Ness would come here and destroy me, so I prepared in advance by putting marshmallows plants around my castle."
"What's that gonna do?"
"Well, erm, Ness really, really likes marshmallows. While he's feasting on the delicious treats I WILL DESTROY HIM!"
"Ah, I see. You know you can..."
"Shaddup!"
So Glarischnag was well prepared (caught by surprise) for Ness' arrival, which wouldn't be for several months.
Anyway, back to Ness. He stayed for two weeks at the Holiday Inn, after stabbing all the people and taking their jewelry, of course. After walking out loaded, his father found him out again, who was opening up boxes, now in the middle of the street. He was beat up, and had tire tracks all over him, but he persisted in opening up the boxes of nothing. Ness decided to put the poor man out of his misery after he destroyed the dragon. But first, a well-earned kick to the balls for Ness' father from his son.
****Five Minutes Later****
"Ah, that felt good. Nothing like kicking people in the balls!"
The poor man crippled to the ground, and never got up again, save to move back to the town. Ness saw from far-off the dragon's lair, which was surrounded by marshmallows.
Ness: What the-
Bystander: (Monty Python woman's voice) Oh, don't worry about the marshmallows! The ol' dragons jus tryin' to trick ya, eh?
Ness: *stab*
Bystander: *bleeds*
Ness: *smirk*
Anyway, Ness rushed towards the castle, ignoring the marshmallows. The castle was a cross between a McDonald's PlayPlace, and the Dark Tower of Mordor. There were two guards in the whole castle, mostly because:
A) Glarischnag had no money
B) The dragon hoped people would be scared off by the "For Children ten and younger" sign in the front.
The dragon laughed as he saw from the top-most tube Ness entering his castle. Eliv laughed along with him then suggested he would capitalize a certain sentence.
Glarischnag: That's it! *pushes Eliv down the slide towards Ness*
Eliv: Noooo!
Ness saw Eliv, and got out his hammer "Hammer". He waited, and then hit Eliv with all the strength he could muster. Eliv moved about an inch, considering he was 15 TIMES BIGGER THAN NESS!! @___@
Ness: Oh come on!
Me: What?
Ness: Eliv is only two inches high, and you know it. ¬_¬
Me: Erm, no, he's, uh, 70 feet high.
Ness. ¬_¬
Me: ;;>___>
Ness: ¬_¬
Me: Oh, all right.
Eliv flew into space, shouting obscenities that no man can speak of. Ness started up to the slide towards Glarischnag, but then Ronald McDonald came and screamed at him. "Slides are for going down, dumbass!" Ness then stabbed Ronald McDonald as many times as he could. When the faux-clown was finally dead, Ness found an Elevator. Inside, a dull music was playing. There were two hundred buttons, but after much thought Ness pushed the one that said, in big bold letters, "TO GLARISCHNAG, YOU STUPID BOY". Ness was pleased, and pushed it. The elevator was immediately shot up the shaft, and after 2 seconds of blacking-out Ness got to the level where Glarischnag was.
Ness: Yay! n__n
***TO BE CONTINUED'D!***
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