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My thoughts, as i see fit
meh so i can't spell to save my life, and grarmour, what is this gramour you speek of????? don't like it then don't read it, simple as that. though if u can get past all the rough edges the story or stories may not be too bad :)
i know this one is long but i think its still good ^_^
(now compleated)

I Love You


The rain pelted down socking Anna's flimsy summer dress, but she didn't notice. Before her the playground was empty the wind lapping at the metal swings pushing ghosts into the air. Her memories were entombed in this place. Happy memories of before she took the big jump. Once soft sand, was now mud under her feet, as she crossed the park. Reaching out she hesitantly grasped hold of the cold metal chains of a swing, the swing, as if it were to bite her. Violently she tugged it towards her grasping the slippery metal links with both fists and clung to them as the tears she had fought back all the way here finally spilled from her puffy red eyes. How many times had they sat here? How many laughs had they shared? There wasn't going to be any more smiles now, only tears she thought. Releasing a fist she vainly whipped water off the leather swing seat and sat down. The act brought a bitter smile to her lips, she was already socked though, a puddled seat wouldn't have mattered much.

She lent her forehead on the cold chain and tried to push the bitter thoughts from her mind, but she kept playing the last moments though her head like a broken record. The nervous warmth in her stomach as she entered the dimmed hall, the booming beat of some currently popular song she couldn’t name, and him. Standing tall, strong and, and completely perfect. A groaned sob escaped her throat. If only she could freeze the memory force the rest out of her head and just leave her that one sinful vision of him, everything would be ok. Though no matter how hard she tried to forget he would still remember, and erasing his memories was beyond her control.

Her minds eye continued to torture her pulling forth the vision of his smile as she walked up to him and his friends. The soft angelic like sound of his voice, as he complimented her on her dress. Hadn't she bought it just for him? Looking down at herself she saw the colour washed out, mud caked to the hem, the glitter which had drawn her to the dress in the first place was gone. Ruined. Fitting she decided, after all she wouldn't wear this dress again, nor another for that matter. He was the only reason she had ever given herself to wear one at all.

As her thoughts on the here an now stilled the play back continued, she could almost feel the soft kiss of the fabric as the skirt flowed around her legs while they danced. Her first dance, her only dance she found herself vowing. His eyes were to perfect, it was almost as if they sparkled. They twirled together in their own little world; it had been perfect hadn't it? Didn't he feel it? He had to have; the feeling in his arms as though he wouldn't let her go, couldn't let her go. The way he looked only at her. It had all overwhelmed her, filled her with so much hope.

Anne shook her head in doubt causing the chains to rattle. No, he had to have felt it too, there was no way she had been alone in that moment, but how could things have gone so terribly wrong if he had.

The perfect memories faded when her mind taunted her with the starry night sky of the terrace, the fragrant perfume of the rose garden surrounding them. She couldn’t remember taking him there. Fighting for control Anne frantically tried to focus her thoughts. They had been dancing hadn't they? Just before. So caught up in the wonder of him she hadn't noticed at first. Not until the cold night air reached her bare shoulders had she noticed they were outside. Funny she couldn't remember the decorations of the hall but the beauty of the garden stuck vivid in her mind. The fountain lit up making the water sparkle creating a fantasy world, their world. She knew it hadn’t been her imagination when he draped his jacket over her shoulders. Or the embarrassed whispered excuse that he thought she was cold. She could still smell him. Feel the warmth draped over her despite the hollowing wind of the storm. How could she have read the moment so wrong? It was he who had given the rose, now cursed from the rain and wind. Crushed along with her heart. His touch as he placed the flower in her hair had sent a rush along her spine, creating an electricity she could swear he felt.

How he could have looked at her so disgusted? The twisted look on his face was too much and she had ran. She could feel the eyes of the others on her back and the faint cry of his voice but she didn't stop. How could she? She had ruined everything spoiled a friendship with the most important person in her life with three stupid words.

~*~ ~*~

He stood there simply starring blankly. Her perfume still lingered in the air mixed with the fragrance of the rose garden to create the most intoxicating scent; he doubted he would ever forget. He hadn’t quite realized what she had said when he had he couldn't gather the ability to reply then when too much time had passed he started to panic. Finally he realized too late she was gone and had berated himself for his own stupidity. Had he even been thinking at all.

She had taken his breath away when she had entered the hall. The room had disappeared leaving only them. Somehow he had known she was there only at his request and the mere thought had gave him a strange sense of pride as she gracefully crossed the floor towards him. He was only semi aware of his friends' confused comments on what they had thought to as the strange new girl. How little they knew her, how little anyone new her. The desire to shield her that very moment had been overwhelming. All he could do was stutter out a complement and what he now thought of as a awkward gesture, and usher her to the dance floor before his mentally deprived friends could make any rude comments that would have ruined the moment.

There, with her in his arms everything felt right. While they swayed to the music he couldn't help noticing the stares and hear the hushed comments. It all seemed to produce a strong urge to protect her, shield yet again, but this time never let her go. How he had been allowed to see what others couldn’t till this night he wasn't sure, and could only humbly thank what ever being had made it possible in his mind. Then he caught her eyes, so wonderfully bright. They seemed too able to gaze within him. Touching his soul like no other person could ever hope to do, making her almost part of him. His feet started to move on their own guiding them towards the double glass doors leading to the terrace. Music was softened and the hushed words and curious glares were gone. It was just them in a world all their own under a magic star filed sky.

And he had ruined it. Caught off guard by what could have been the perfect completion of a perfect night. Gathering him self he rushed to the doors catching sight of her as she ran though the hall. Everyone starting snickering at what they called the would be princess, but she was a princess. More so then any of them could see. In vain he called out to her thinking she would allow him to explain, but she was gone. He could only stand in the middle of the floor staring after a dream he had allowed to slip from his fingers.

~*~ ~*~

She was startled slightly as a coat was gently laid over her shoulders; his coat. She hadn’t heard him approached and figured it was better this way. If she had she very easily could have bolted in anger. Looking up with eyes socked by the rain and swollen by tears she didn’t see the man who had made her feel cherished, but the boy who was her friend and made her feel safe. When he knelt in the front of the swing she threw her arms around his neck, allowing him to pick her up in his arms. Her small frame shock violently. The stupidity of her choices weighted on her mind, and she knew she would be lucky if she came out of this with only a small cold. So much for her rational brain. Sniffing she pulled his jacked tighter across causing him to worriedly glance down at her. Despite everything Anne found herself smiling up at him before closings her eyes and failing asleep.

She woke in her bed with the early morning sunlight peeking though the blue curtains. Stretching, her arms felt stiff and her head ached slightly. Though the blankets were warm and comforting Anne swung her feet over the edge of the bed and tentatively stood. The sky was bright blue and the birds sang sweetly. The gorgeous day held no evidence of the night’s storm. Her now frayed and blurred memories seemed more like a dream, but the tattered remains of her dress draped over the foot of her bed told her different.

Picking up her house coat off the back of a chair and slipping into her fuzzy green flipper slippers, she headed downstairs. Why she bothered with the coat she couldn’t fathom. It wasn’t like there was anyone else in the house to be offended by her well worn cotton pj’s. If she hadn’t messed things up... Anne forced the thought from her mind she didn’t want the tears from the night before to consume her again. She needed a mug of hot chocolate. It always helped clear her mind. As she came to the bottom of the landing the unmistakable smell of coffee assaulted her. Slowly she rounded the corner to the kitchen and peeked in. Back to her, busy poring water from a well worn kettle, he stood.

~*~ ~*~

He hadn’t second guessed himself when he left the hall and headed to the park. There were too many memories there. In his mind she couldn’t have been anywhere else. He could only curse himself for standing there like an idiot instead of telling her how he felt. There was no doubt he had just shattered what relationships he had with his so called friends. If he really thought about it were they even his friends? They had never understood Anne. They had never approved of her. Not that he sought their approval, lest, not when it came to her. Right now it didn’t even matter to him, she was the only important thing, and probably had always been the only important thing in his life. He had turned down quite a few good universities choosing to stay locally. Conserving money had been the excuse he had given himself. It seemed so foolish now. He had always been so careful to never lie, at lest not to himself, but as he was now noticing he had wrapped his whole life up in one big lie which he had been ignorant towards up till now, and the truth only seemed to urge him on now.

The storm witch had threatened them all night had burst from the sky with a hideous rubble of thunder followed by a down pour of rain. Droplets ran down his neck and then into the collar of his dress shirt. The dress shoes he had bought new for the occasion, once polished to perfection slipped and skidded on the wet pavement as he ran thought the streets. The storm seemed to be persistent on stopping him, sending gusts of wind in his path which nearly sent him flaying backward. He cursed himself again when an image of Anne filtered into his mind. If anything happened to her he couldn’t imagine what he would do. As he approached the park his heart retched when he saw her huddled on the swing. Her once beautiful dress covered in mud and her long corn silk hair fell limp upon her face; rain running of the ends. The knowledge of being the cause of her present stat sickened him; twisting his stomach into a knot he feared would never come undone.

Gently he placed his jacket over her shoulders, in a vain attempt to shelter her from his own stupidity. When she had turned to him her eyes were of the child friend he had grown up with and realized to late he loved. Knelling in the mud he tentatively tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ear. In turn she surprised him by throwing her arms around his neck. With out hesitation he lifted her into his arms. It felt right he thought. She moulded to him as though she had always been there . Maybe in some ways she had been. When she started fidgeting he glanced down worried he had offended her in some way but the tentative smile she gave him just before she fell asleep warmed him and he found himself tightening his grip, pulling her closer to him. This time he would protect her.

He took her home, making quick work of replacing her rain socked dress with a pair of old sleep pants and top, and then placed her in her bed. He paused a moment in the door frame before crossing the hall to the spare room. That night he didn’t sleep; his thoughts refusing to settle. When the first rays of morning shined though the window he gave up the pretence and hurried down the stairs. Nimble fingers made quick work of filling the coffee pot bought solely for him. The memory of the shopping tip played though his mind as he filed the kettle with water and placed it on the burner. Crossing to the fridge he poured milk into a mug partly filed with hot chocolate mix. He hadn’t heard her come down the stairs or walk up behind him but somehow he know she was there, and he hadn’t blinked when he turned around and placed her mug on the table in front of her before he retrieved his own. They settled into a slightly awkward silence both to stubborn to speak first.

While he watched her sip her dink he realized this was the first time in twenty years the two hadn’t been able to talk to each other. Sure they had their comfortable silences, but this wasn’t even close. During those twenty years they had been though a lot, yet now when he really stopped and looked back Anne had been the one to take the brunt of it. When she was six she lost both parents. Her Aunt took her in and raised her till she was 16 then up and left with only a postcard a year latter, explaining she wouldn’t be returning. They had been inseparable friends all the way up to high school when he had fallen in with the crowd and she had slipped further into the shadows. Maybe this was why it took him so long to really notice her. She had become so familiar to him he hadn’t seen his childhood friend become the woman in front of him. Now all he had to do was tell her..

"I love you"

~*~ ~*~

Did he even know she was there? If she turned and left would he notice? Anne couldn’t bring herself to move from the door. She watched as he crossed to the fridge and easily found the milk pitcher and it stuck her how this was just as much his home as it was hers. She slipped into a chair and waited for him to finish with her drink. She had never gown accustomed to the taste of coffee, preferring instead the sweeter taste of hot chocolate mix. The coffee maker had been purchased a year ago just for him, when he started spending more time at her place then his own. They had joked from time to time how he should simply movie in and save himself the rent he spent on his own place. Strange it didn’t sound as silly this morning instead for the first time the thought seemed right. Like everything else it just fit.

Coffee in hand he soon joined her at the table, yet the typical morning jabber wasn’t there, taken over by an awkward silence she wasn’t used to, or liked. Slowly she sipped her dink casting him nervous glances from under her mug, while trying to figure out how to fix things. All she wanted to do was cry. She was losing her best friend over the stupid things. Before she could tell him anything, now she couldn’t get her tongue to work. To explain to him she had truly meant what she had said at the hall. To simply allow her soul to scream out load.

“I love you.”

Anne’s eyes widened in fear. Had she just said it out loud? She had to be cursed. To have blurted out her inner most secretes twice, there had to be some all powerful being out there laughing at her; taunting her with all the ill fated luck in hell. The tiled floor felt like it was crumbling beneath her, throwing her into oblivion while her checks burst into flames. Anything, she would trade anything to fall away with them. To freeze the moment for eternity, or turn back the clock. Anything to make the horrid feeling of dread washing over her go away. Instead it was all spiralling out of control.

She jumped from the table so quickly she knocked her mug, spilling her hot chocolate. When she made a brake for the stairs Anne was stopped by a hand on her arm. Tears finally broke again as the weight of the past hours become too much. She wasn’t prepared when he pulled her towards him and wrapped her in the safety of his embrace; she had expected him to yell, or simply leave. The suddenness of the act silenced her tears leaving her confused. It took a few moments for her mind to comprehend the situation before she finally returned the hug. When he pulled away she took a step back smiling shyly. They stood there for few moments till Anne noticed the liquid chocolate dripping on the floor. Retrieving a wash cloth from the counter all the worries and stress over how things would click faded as the two set to work cleaning. She knew he would always be her friend only now she had a soul mate.






User Comments: [2] [add]
Kagosaya
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat Jul 08, 2006 @ 04:28pm
Woah. eek


commentCommented on: Sun Jul 23, 2006 @ 12:25am
umm is that a good woah or a bad woah sweatdrop



Senshi Aurora
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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