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Sometime, life tries to deceive me. I don't know if this has happened to you or if it's just me but it happens. Friends come and go, families break off and shatter, the only people in your life that you can trust is yourself, but sometimes you can't even trust yourself. I once had friends. Walking in the halls together, we would spend every moment with each other. By the next year, half my friends were gone. Either they moved away or they just didn't listen anymore. They weren't really there anymore. But I had a few close friends. I thought that was all that I needed. But then again. That third year, even those few friends disappeared. I didn't really have anyone. I didn't think I needed anyone. Although, throughout all those years, I had a few someones. Those few that I could talk to. The few that I thought would make everything okay.

By now, I've lost even those few friends. I didn't want to, I didn't mean to. It just happened. What else is someone supposed to do when things just happen? It might hurt to realize those who once meant the world to you aren't going to be there anymore. They're just going to disappear like you were never apart of your life. I'm tired of that happening. I've closed myself off. I don't want to go out into the world to find friends. I don't want them to a great part of my life and then disappear one day. I don't mind being alone all day. Cleaning or sitting in my room. I don't care that I don't go out or text a million people everyday.

I guess I'm just scared. I'm scared that one day, everyone I love will disappear. That I wont be able to go into the world and put my faith into people anymore. I'm just afraid that I'm going to be on my own my whole life. I have so many dreams. But all of them include other people. A few included the people I thought were going to stay with me my whole life. I guess my point for rambling is to say, people aren't going to stay forever. But I guess you have to find the right people that are going to stay for a while.