Happy birthday!
If they are getting older, tell them this sad truth. Yup, no way around reality.
* Some words of wisdom for your birthday, “Smile while you still have teeth!”
* With age comes wisdom. (You’re one of the wisest people I know!)
* One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
* You’re not thirty; you’re eighteen with twelve years of experience.
* Happy Birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don’t die before you eat your cake.
* On your birthday, let me wish you plenty of joy, I know you’re too old, but I still bought you a toy!
* Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
But let them know growing old is okay.
* Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
* Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
* You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
* A well-adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she’s going to exchange it for.
* Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
* Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own.
* Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.
Or maybe you want to rub a little salt in that wound.
* You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
* Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
* Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
* Here’s the secret to look younger: Dress like a teenager with baggy, oversized clothes they will hide your baggy, oversized body.
* You can count on me to not send you one of those rude and insulting cards about getting another year older because I know how sensitive old people can be about their age.
* Inflation is when you pay 30 dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
* As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
* Happy birthday, you old fart.
* Oh my god you’re old.
* “Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty – they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.” – Martin Buxbaum
* Another year, another new place that aches.
Suggest they can get away with pretending to be younger.
* The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
* You are as old as you can act.
Tell them getting older is okay because being young is worse
* When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Say these to friends with whom you can kid around.
* Happy Uterus Liberation Day
* Congrats. It’s the anniversary of how you were squeezed out of your mom’s ******.
* You know, studies have shown that those who have the most birthdays live the longest.
* (Wait a week, then say) That was last week? Oh s**t. Well, happy birthday.
T A l S A O Community Member 
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