Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

A journal.
Everything.
Two dreams...I've been having these for the past month or so. I'm typing this so that I may read it later and maybe figure out why this is coming to me. Maybe it's for self-reflection. Maybe it's my schizophrenia just ******** with me...Hoxan...Nani...Discord...so many personalities...all friends...if you will. ******** it, I'll just type.

1st Dream. I've only told one person about this and when I told him, I remembered it pretty vividly. I knew he could do nothing about tit or help in any way. I hate to say it but well...ya...it's not like even telling Lexxi would help...I have no idea what's going in my head. I'm getting sidetracked. Here's how it goes. I find myself in a room I have found myself in whenever I actually remember a dream. An all white ballroom with a huge black Chandaliere (I don't how to spell it so bare with me please). This Chandaliere always has white fire on its candles. Even in the dream. I always think that I'm going back to my normal dreams when I see this but...I'm always wrong. I never look around. My eyes just focus on a long flight of curvy white stairs that lead nowhere since the ballroom has no exit. I always find myself running towards the door. As I run up these stairs, I find myself face-to-face with Hoxan. He is one of my personalities. He always stays calm and he loves being the strong silent type. Secretly, he always wants to be the hero. I always enter conflict with Hoxan and we end up fighting like in an anime. He always has milky white eyes and a permanent smile on his face. Hoxan has always had the habit of licking his lips, this time he never does. Hoxan only laughed as I beat him senseless. It's my dream, and I always win in my dream...well except in this one. Hoxan then concedes and fades into a huge darkness. See all of this was a hue change from what I told Zetsu...I feel like i'm remembering more every night I have this..."dream". I then climb more stairs and find myself looking at another personality. Nani. Yes his name mean's "What?". Moving on. We then proced to battle. I always drew Nani in a bit of a nightmarish way. For awhile, he was a nightmare. Nani was always seen in my dreams as half rag doll and half ball joint puppet. Nani became better over time, depending on what you call better. His look changed too. Anywho, Nani attacked me, and I fought back. He showed the same expression and he had the same milky white eyes a blind person has. After a short battle with Nani, I finish running up the stairs and the the area goes dark. After a couple of seconds, I blackout and wake up in my "One-Tree Hill". The place I've always wanted to see. A huge field of grass and a giant hill with a huge tree. I wake up and see the last of my personalities, I've nicknamed him Discord for the way he talks. When he's out, he always acts like a certain MLP character. Anyway, He also has the same expression. He doesn't attack me though. He just stands in front of the huge trunk of this gigantic tree and silently chuckles. After what feels like minutes of laughter, His heart bursts from his chest in the form of a shiny heart-shaped crystal. I freeze and watch as Discord burns in black hellfire from the inside out. This rotting corpse then puts itself together and becomes...ME! It becomes me! It always scares the ******** out of me...Anyway. He then chuckles with Discords voice then adds my voice with Discords. My voice and a deep undertone is what I hear. His hair turns black and shaggier. His shirt disintegrates and is replaced with a black suit the goes from his chin to his pants. His chest has a huge heart shaped hole in it. His pants or black with even darker fire print on it. He also has knee pads and knee high combat boots colored black. His eyes turn black and his iris becomes red, the pupil turns pure snow white. The outlines of his eyes are darkened to show the black in his eyes. I then watch as the world im in inverts itself and the blue leaves fall from the tree. I then engage with this dark version of myself. We have a very climatic fight involving my love, and all of my friends, including my personalities. I always feel like they are by my side after this dream...but all the physical pain i've gotten from this repetitive dream...I don't know. Anyway, after the fight, the other me fades and leaves me with something close to these words. "I will come back...you may have striked me down now...but it will only make me stronger as your hate grows...". It still makes me shiver because of the second dream. After everything is settled, I lay with my love in a field of grass, watching the sunset. It feels like a video game but theirs always something missing afterward....Discord has never made his presence known in my head after the first time I had this dream. I fear he might be gone...and If so...I fear I will lose a lot with his leave...I also get told I'm screaming a lot when I wake up.

2nd dream. This will be shorter because I have only had it once and that is why I'm up now posting this because I can't get notepad up. I find myself in a black room with a huge sword made of light and a shield made of light as well. Then a creepy music starts to play. It feels like if Lavender Town had a battle theme, thats what is playing. I look around and see red iris' with white pupils looking at me from all directions on the ground. These eyes then start to manifest and form into look-a-likes of me again These all act like zombies but he said he'd return and thats what I feel is happening with this dream...I woke up sweating and my ears were bleeding because they all screamed and I could swear my ear drums broke in the dream.
....I need help...Idk who can give it to me...but I need it...now....





San Nukarumi
Community Member
San Nukarumi
«Prev | Next
Archive | Home

  • [04/30/12 11:37am]
  • [03/12/12 02:22am]
  • [12/21/11 11:43am]
  •  
     
    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Offers
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games
    Mini-Games
    Play with GCash
    Play with Platinum