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Emotions/Feelings are for Retards.
And I just so happen to have them.
Sometimes - no matter how long, or how much you love someone, they will never love you back and somehow you have to learn to be okay with that. If your gonna make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears. I'm holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won't. ⇒ Rz Rasel


What do ya know? Feeling lonely again. Life is hard. Like always. Learn to choose better people to be around you. You don't want to just let anybody in, in your life. For some reason, some people just think they have the right to come into your life, become your "friend", then just leave without a reasonable explanation. That's so ******** irritating, and get's on my nerves. Like seriously, if your going to do that s**t, you might as well just ******** off in the first place and stop being so damn fake. Geez. That's so retarded, sociopathic people? Yes.


So what am I doing? Didn't go to school. Don't have work today. Got to catch up on some work. Want to get a haircut. Family problems. But then again, who doesn't have family problems? Mom and dad is arguing a lot. More than usual. Speculations say that my mom is cheating on my dad. But who knows? They had a huge argument at my uncle's house. And they are permitting her from using her cell phone to text/call that person. My sister picked up the phone when he called and he hung up on her. So all of that jazz and some other crap.


My oldest sister, the one with the baby, my nephew, is so close to splitting up with her boyfriend. His dumbass ******** slashed her tires and s**t. He O.D'd. Now she's living in the house with me and the rest of the family, trying to buy a new car. But they're going to get back together again, because I don't want my nephew having nobody to call "daddy". But I know the same o'le s**t is going to keep happening. Always broke, don't have a steady job, failing at event's that is "planned". Always relying on my sister to help pay everything. But who knows if their going to get back together? Asking me for $300.00 dollars to buy a new car. Sure thing, sure thing..I just want my money back..


So, here I am, in my room, writing this, listening to RESTART, drinking a half frozen propel, and watching my frozen propel thaw on the dresser. Ghetto lamp with it's half-a** yellow light. Propel bottles everywhere, it's December and it's raining in Wisconsin, huge orange workout ball in the middle of my room, messy closet, green laser pointer, nothing to eat. No rice, no food, nothing. See; that's the bad thing about living in a big family. Their ain't s**t to eat when you want to eat it. No rice, no food, nothing. A whole bunch of dishes. Ughh..5 sister's, 4 brother's, one nephew, 2 parent's, I seriously want to go live on my own. My own food, own dishes, own house, the only thing that I have to worry about is me. That would really be awesome.


The girlfriend is at school, haven't thought about texting her, probably not going to text her since it's going to distract me from doing my work. Packer's are 13-0, hell yeah..BEAST. Undefeated Superbowl repeat. Mhm. I'm starving wtf. Need to work out again..Lose some weight, gain some muscle, go compete, get this senior year over with, and go to college to get some degree's in marketing and business and hopefully, go catch a job with the UFC or some s**t. Man...I just don't see myself getting married at all. Until I'm old though, of course. Won't be finishing college till I'm like 25, 26. Will be getting my career jump started to the top at like 30, 31, 32. No girls, women is just a distraction. Get in shape, work out, eat right.



But that's just speculation..I wouldn't mind doing that though. Hell, I might even want to move to Las Vegas and try to become big over there. Then for fun, just play some poker. Meh. I think I'm gonna go cook some pho...


User Image


Oh wow..That looks yum. D:


Now I'm all hungry now...Mehh..Guess it's better to be lonely sometimes and not talk to anybody. Loner, drifter, stranger...


Dunno when I'll be typing another journal.....Just been too depressed lately. Sorry, next time it'll be a better one..Thanks for reading though..





 
 
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