Ok, the worst thing ever that's happened to me is where I had the most wonderful dream one night.
I didn't even know that that was what I want.
Worst thing is, I know that dream isn't ever going to come true.
I've cried over it, and still do long for it....
And it only gets worse because my parents talk about it and they don't know that every time they mention the subject it hurts me.
Wish I could talk to them about it, but I can't.
I don't want to see looks of pity, & sorrow on their faces.
If only I hadn't had that dream!
If only I hadn't found out what I most want in the world!
If I hadn't I think I wouldn't be suffering as much, or losing sleep over fear of dreaming that dream again.
It sucks even more because ever since that first dream, my dreams have been like continuations of that 1st sweet and blissful dream.
Life sucks sometimes, its a b***h, but well....
I am trying to move past what I can never have.
At least that count for something, but as to what....
I don't know.
View User's Journal
 |
