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After a long discussion on how Voldemort/Hepzibah might be the best canon couple in Harry Potter...
WARNING. Will NOT make sense if you haven't read loveless, plus minor spoilers. It might not make sense at all. It's funny anyway.
Read the Nero entry (6), it might make this make a bit more sense

Raeanne: I honestly don't remember much about Harry Potter D: But lol canon win~! Almost as great as canon Aoyagicest =^-^=

Me: Obby. ;DDD
Me: =^-^=

Raeanne: Niiiii-saaaannn =^-^=

Me: Otoutouuuuuuuuuuu =^-^=

Raeanne: let's take a bath nii-San~! =^-^=

Me: Great idea otoutou~! wash off all this blood =^-^=

Raeanne: Nii-San I can't get my shirt off~! Help me? =^-^=

Me: Sure thing bro. *takes out scissors* now hold still ok? =^-^=

Raeanne: Ah nooo nii-san~! Be careful with those~! =^-^=

Me: oops D:

Raeanne: Ahhh~! Nii-San~! Kiss it make it better >;|

Me: *puts on lipstick*

Raeanne: What's taking you so long nii-san? It hurts ;O

Me: *smacks lips together* ok otoutou. Mwah! Mwah! - 3 -

Raeanne: Mmm nii-san? My lips hurt =^-^=

Me: *puts more lipstick on* mwahmwahmwahmwah! :3

Raeanne: Mmm thank you nii-san~! =^-^=
Raeanne: So how about that bath?

Me: I'll get the sparklesparkledoublebubblerainbow bubble-bath mix ^^

Raeanne: Gasp~! What could this mean?

Me: It means for you to shut up and take your clothes off ;D
Me: *is magically naked*

Raeanne: Oh well, okay. Nii-san knows best.
Raeanne: *striptease*

Me: Yesssss. Nii-san knows best~ muahahahaha!
Me: *Kira face*

Raeanne: N-nii san? What's so funny?

Me: Oh nothing my little buttercup. *climbs in bathtub* swim around me my little fishy~

Raeanne: *falls in nii-san's lap* Nii-saaannnn, the bathtub isn't big enough for me to swim around you *pouty face*

Me:You can still flop around me and spaz like a retard. Nii-san isn't choosy.

Raeanne: *wriggles in nii-san's lap* Is that good nii-san? =^-^=

Me: Hnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg~!
Me: D: oh no! There is an angry looking lump forming in the crotch of my pants!

Raeanne: Gah Niiiii-saaaannn~! There's something poking me in the back :-/

Me: Oh sorry. That was my hand.

Raeanne: Well then move your hand nii-san~!

Me: *moves hand to your sexy boy parts* ;DD

Raeanne: Hngggg nii-san~! ...There's still something poking me in the back :-/

Me: It's...uh...my other hand?

Raeanne: Nii-saaannnn?

Me: Yeeeeeeeeesss?

Raeanne: Get that thing out of my back please =^-^=

Me:*moves hand and starts massaging your shoulders*
Me: (:^{3

Raeanne: Hnnnn nii-san that feels so gooood @.@

Me: Hey Ritsuka?

Raeanne: mmm yes nii-san? =^-^=

Me: Are your pants made out of mirrors?

Raeanne: Why would I wear my mirror pants in the bathtub nii-san?

Me: Because I'm going to rape you?

Raeanne: Oh, it won't be rape ^_~

Me: Really? Oh too bad then.

Raeanne: Is it really? *turns over* Mwah =^-^=

Me: Awww... Mwah Mwah!

Raeanne: I love you onii-san =^-^=

Me: We are so fabulous together~

Raeanne: We are fabulous, aren't we? Mwah! =^-^=

Me: *mwahs both your cheeks* so intense!

Raeanne: Oh, you think that is intense? *mwahs down your neck*

Me: Hhhhnnnnnnnngggggg!! My rod of justice!

Raeanne: Oh, you mean your extra hand that was jabbing me in the back? Nice to meet you, hand *shakes hands* ^_~

Me: Oh my god Raeanne

Raeanne: Yes ma'am?
Raeanne: =^-^=

Me: You just shook hands with my rod of justice.

Raeanne: Why, is that a problem dear? =^-^=

Me: Because during Latin tomorrow I won't be able to stop bringing it up. And we'll laugh like idiots the whole time.

Raeanne: Since when was us laughing like idiots a problem?
Raeanne: Why do you think I love you?

Me: For my silent intensity.

Raeanne: Oh how could I forget that~! Well I suppose there are a lot of reasons.
Raeanne: Anyway, where were we? I believe we left Seimei waiting =^-^=

Me: Seimei sashays his hips and speaks in his sexy girly man voice. "Honey~ let's get this party started!"

Raeanne: *takes rod of justice* Hnnn! your voice nii-san~!

Me: "Hnnn your little boy fingers!" he starts yodeling in ecstasy.

Raeanne: My my nii-san~! You're so tight~! Let otoutou give you a massage =^-^=

Me: All of a sudden, Seimei's phone rings. ringtone Oh dear me? Who can it be?

Raeanne: Wow nii-san~! Nice ringtone~! But I don't think we have any need for your phone... ^_~

Me: He picks up his phone anyway. "Hold on my little fish, it could be important." He answer the call and listens intently for a minute, his face contorting with fear and disgust. "Oh my gawd."

Raeanne: Seimei, who is iiit? Come back, I'm getting cold. :-/

Me: He climbs back in and holds you. "This creepy old man called me and said that he woke up thinking of me and got hard" (Actual prank-call reference)

Raeanne: Oh my Seimei~! Well since you won't be needing that anymore *takes phone out of your hand and sets it to vibrate* maybe otoutou can borrow it? =^-^=

Me: He karate chops the phone out of your hands in a manly way, it crashes to the floor and combusts into a million glittery pieces, He seems all impressed and puffs out his chest. "Oh crap. I needed that."
Me: "Where was I? Awwwww yeeeeeeee." He gets out some Vaseline.

Raeanne: Vaseline? Really nii-san? We're in a bathtub, that's just going to wash right off~! Besides, isn't this better? *lick*

Me: "Don't tell me what to do woman." He whips out his rod of justice.

Raeanne: Nii-san, if I was a woman we wouldn't need the Vaseline to begin with. *licklick*

Me: "Wait. You're not a woman?"

Raeanne: Nii-san~!

Me: "I jest." He makes sweet monkey love to you.

Raeanne: Hngyehhh nii-san~!

Me: "Yeeeehaw!" dons his cowboy hat.
Me: "I feel like we're in brokeback mountain. Except we're two Asians in a bathtub instead of Jake Gyllenhaal and the Joker in a camping tent."

Raeanne: Well you're my Jake Gyllenhaal =^-^=

Me: "D: but Jake was uke."

Raeanne: Well, that sucks for you, doesn't it? *steals cowboy hat*

Me: "That's it. We're gonna crossover with the Human centipede."

Raeanne: That is SO not happening.

Me: "Then get on your knees and make this as awkward as Roman mythology."

Raeanne: Oh, I don't know if I can make it THAT awkward. But we'll find out. *gets on knees*

Me: ;D "hehehe that tickles."

Raeanne: Oh yeah? Well this won't. *trips you so you land on your face between my legs*

Me: "Ew. Vaginaaaaaaa~"!

Raeanne: "Nii-san, that's the floor. *pulls your head up by the hair*

Me: "I always get those two confused. But hey, we already lost our ears." He slaps your hand away. "Do NOT pull my hair. Iz sexy."

Raeanne: Do you want your ******** ears back? I have a stapler, nii-san. *throws you back onto the ground*

Me: We are like 2 hummingbirds that are also trying to staple each other in the head on the ground.

Raeanne: Nyeh I am so sorry~! My phone died T^T

Me: Steals stapler and throws it in mom's room. Ahahahaha

Raeanne: Noooo give it back nii-san~!

Me: *magically conjures up another stapler with my sexy hair powers and drops the stapler in my pants* come and get it.

Raeanne: *reaches into pants* Found it~! *yanks*
Raeanne: Oops
Raeanne: Not it =^-^=

Me: ;D "Don't stop...believing."

Raeanne: Now where's that stapler... found it~! Nyeh nii-san, it's stuck on something D:

Me: "That would be the pile of your used underwear I keep in my pants at all times...that sounded better in my head."

Raeanne: Nii-san? Why would you do that nii-san?

Me: He looks at you like a deer in headlights. "Um. Um... TIMETURNER." sd;lfjsd;lafjal;

Raeanne: Nii-san~! I found the stapler~! *yanks*

Me: "hnnnnnnng! Oh wait. That really was the stapler. Well, here you go."

Raeanne: Hmm *slides stapler out of pants* would you like to get the ears for me? *drops ears in pants*

Me: "Fish for decapitated body parts in the pants of my younger brother... sounds in character to me!" smile

Raeanne: No no, nii-san. With your teeth." =^-^=

Me: "oops. I already have the ears."

Raeanne:Well, we don't need those.
Raeanne: Not if I have you nii-san~! *mwah~!* =^-^=

Me: Awwwwww. Mwah Mwah Mwah!! *leans over and ravishes your prepubescent body*
Me: "Yeah. At least we don't look like retarded kitty people anymore."

Raeanne: Nyah~! Nii-sann~!!
Raeanne: How am I supposed to keep my balance without my tail? *falls over nii-san's lap*

Me: My HAND poked you in the cheek, "We could get you some fake ears and a tail. That way Chris Hansen won't find out :3"

Raeanne: I don't want the fake ears. I want everyone to know~! *rubs fuzzy head against your HAND*

Me: Seimei gulps. "Everyone?" D:
Me: *hot glues the ears to your head*

Raeanne: *keeps rubbing your HAND* Gah nii-san~! That's hooott~!!!

Me: "I know. I'm just so sexy."

Raeanne: *bites your hand* Seimei, that made me hurt -3-

Me: Oh forget you Raeanne. I'm tired and can't work in these substandard conditions!

Raeanne: No don't forget me~! T^T

Me: AMNESIA!