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confessions from the fish dept
working in the fish dept of a pet store has its ups and its downs. it's a lot more than just feeding fish and catching a few here and there for customers. any way, i'm just going to focus on the downside of customers for a moment...

the average fish dept customer that comes in a major pet store is a novice hobbyist. either one that has just started fishkeeping or one that has been doing it for years and flying by night, never bothering to learn anything at all about it. the specialty aquatics shops generally attract the more serious and knowledgeable customer base.

the "i've been doing it this way for years" customer
this is the customer that always knows best even though they know nothing. while they've been keeping fish for years they have never really had any long term success... which is written off as "fish don't live long" in their under educated minds. when you try to offer advice (and advocate for the poor fish) they get defensive and angry and insinuate that you're a moron because you work retail. this is also the customer that returns later in the week to return dead fish and goes off about how all the fish we sell are diseased and defective.

the "it's just a fish" customer
this is the customer that doesn't care even the teeniest slightest most minute bit about the life of their pet fish. they consider them disposable. often times, ironically, they are buying pet fish to teach their children about responsibility. all they are teaching their kid is that animals are free to be used and abused and thrown away when you get bored with them. why anyone would want to continually throw away money on murdering their pets is beyond me.

the "i have red ones and yellow ones and..." customer
this is the customer that doesn't know what kind of fish they have in their tank. they generally don't care either because they just want them to be pretty to look at. compatibility and the individual species's needs are unimportant to this customer. many times they combine with previous customer types and show the many ways in which they don't care to receive any well meaning advice.

the "i have no idea what i am doing" customer
this is the customer that jumped right in with out any research and is now completely and utterly confused and stupefied. they stare at you with a blank face and just want a quick simple answer with out a science lesson. fish are more complicated than dogs and this customer is just starting to realize this. eventually this customer will either educate themselves, turn into another customer type or just give up on the hobby completely. the ones that are really serious about learning generally become great life-long customers.

the fish bowl customer
this is a customer that is used to the archaic idea of keeping fish in bowls and not open to the idea that our knowledge of fish and fish care have made leaps and bounds since the days of bowls. most commonly this customer wants a goldfish and is completely deaf to the fact that goldfish are one of the absolute worst fish to keep in a bowl. many times they combine with the "i've been doing it this way for years" customer and retort rudely that they have always kept goldfish that way and they have always been completely 100% totally happy, healthy and lived to the ripe old age of 3 years (which for fish that can live in excess of 20 years is nothing). and of course, just as often they combine with the "it's just a fish" customer and seem utterly baffled as to why you actually care about the life of an animal.

the dorm pet customer
this is the college kid that wants a low maintenance pet that takes up very little space. nine times out of ten they want a "pretty fish" (like a yellow lab cichlid) to live in a tiny (1 quart) bowl. they almost never want a "boring" betta. the fish, if they get any tend to be doomed to a life of neglect and the tank/ bowl becomes a receptacle for bongs and half empty beer cans after a night of partying.

the advice abuser customer
always asking for advice and never buying anything. they make sure they take up as much of your time as possible and then run off to buy their fish and supplies from a competitor. if you think we give such good advice please help keep us in business!

the "j'accuse" customer
every time you try to dispense advice or facts they smack you in the face with their pointer finger as they yell "i object!" and accuse you of making s**t up. it's hard to do anything other than facepalm around this customer, they are a lost cause and are only going to continue to be obnoxious.

the a*****e for free s**t customer
a bane of all retail stores, this is the customer that acts like a complete dickhead because they know it will get them free products or coupons. sadly, retail stores have their hands bound and are forced to try and make this type of customer happy to retain them as a customer. totally confusing to me, since why do you want to encourage these jackasses to return? especially since these people tend to not buy much and often are regular thieves.





 
 
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