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Mental Cesspool
All the little thoughts, problems, and concerns that I may be dealing with at any given time, spread out for the internet to see.
TripTripTRIIIIIP!!!
I leave to go see Hawksley on the 20th! I'm so excited!!! We're really gonna take the time to get to know each other! I can't wait. I really want to see how things play out. I want to get to know him and spend lots of time with him! 20th through the 26th! Louis actually agreed to let me stay; can you believe it?!
And I have Nya-chan working on the inside ninja She spoke to Hawksley this morning on the phone and interrogated him for me. She said that he told her that he liked me a lot, but wasn't sure if he liked me as just a friend or more, and this week we'd be spending together would determine how he really felt. So call me crazy or obsessive or whatever, but I'm going to try my hardest to get him to like me as a more-than-friend way. Hopefully. I'd really like that, anyway. Truth is, though... I don't want to have to manipulate him to get him to love me. If he can, he will. If he doesn't, well we'll still be great friends. I can already tell.

And as for Tye? Haven't spoken to him in two weeks. Again. Obviously, I'm tired of this. Also obviously, I'll be breaking things off with him, as soon as I get to talk to him next. I'd like to tell myself that we'll try to be friends instead of boyfriend/girlfriend and see if we're even compatible that way, but... I was thinking about it last night, and I honestly don't think it'll happen. We'll break up and then... that'll be it. We'll go our separate ways. Kinda sad to think about, but really, we're just not compatible. I don't think.

I had a dream about Hawksley, too. (This is for all those dream analysts out there!)
I was standing on a train platform. The color scheme in the dream was made up of a lot of soft blues and yellow tones, but at the same time, it was just a regular platform. There was no train at the station, and I could see two sets of tracks. The near ones were blurry, the far ones were very clear. I couldn't see anything but hazy color blurs past the second set of tracks... it's like reality didn't exist there. Or that there simply wasn't anything there. Anyway, I was standing on the platform with someone. I don't remember who. I don't remember what they said to me, either. I felt them out of the corner of my eye once, and knew they had brown hair, but that's it. Wasn't paying attention. So I said something to them, and a train goes rushing past us. On the far tracks, but the train was still right up against the platform. And I remember looking at this train, and who's standing there but Hawksley? He's riding the train and just looking at me. At first, when the train was to the right of my vision, I was looking at him, and his face was absolutely grotesque. I mean, I really remember thinking "Eww... he looks so ugly...", which is bad of me to think, but there it is. So I keep staring at him, because I know this is my Hawksley. And as the train rushes past to the left, I stare at his face, and it slowly becomes more beautiful. It looks exactly like him just as it passes the middle of my vision, and the further left he goes, the more dazzlingly gorgeous he becomes. And light sort of engulfs his face from the left, and I whip my head by to watch him go by, and I just see this image of his upper body. Unclothed, and I'm looking at it from the back. I stared at it for a minute, because he was so beautiful, but I couldn't see his face. He was facing away from me, and I just remember his light brown hair flowing in the wind, except that it was a little bit longer.
I woke up to him texting me.
The dream kinda comforts me x3 My friend says that it's proof that Hawksley is a good thing for me, that the train platform is a symbol of things to come or things already here, and that wherever I go, I'm surrounded by his good energy. Comforting <3

He also has a level 81 Gallade and I have an 83 Gardevoir. We didn't find this out until a few days ago. Isn't that awesome?

In other news, I got my wallet stolen! biggrin Had my State ID, possibly my SS card, and $95 in it. That was money I was going to use for my trip, but oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. Also got my laundry bag stolen. Still lame.






User Comments: [1] [add]
Tropical Dreams
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Mon Aug 09, 2010 @ 01:54am
EEeeee THIS IS CUTE!! I SQUEALED IN CHARLES EAR WHEN I SEEN THIS!! LOL ITS YOU AND HAWKSLEY.


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User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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