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It is raining outside.

It seems to always rain after I get seriously angry. I like it. The rain washes away the feelings of my soul, leaving me at peace. Each drop is a teardrop I couldn't cry; it is someone out there who may actually care.

As I feel all of the anger, sadness, and pain leave my heavy heart, I can't help but wonder where it goes... Does it drain and drain and drain down to the Devil, where he recycles it for future use? Or is it just whispered away? I wish I could be out in the rain right now.

I want to be clean. I want to be pure, whole, and self again. I wish I could just stand out in the rain all day, with the sun beating down upon me.

WHOA!

A loud crack of thunder just released nearby. It reminds me of how I am when I release whatever I have been bottling up. This jolt rumbled the very depths of my soul. It fills me with excited fear, anticipation, and wariness. It reminds me that for me to feel clean, I must first do wrong. It reminds me that to be forgiven, I must first harm a fellow human in someway.

Now they are both together. Thunder and rain. The point at which anger is released, and the point at which everything that doesn't matter is washed away. Maybe I can only feel truly at peace after I blow up. Maybe I can never find true happiness, because it always accompanies conflict.

All I really know is that I want to be out in the rain right now. Pure, whole, and able to shed a tear without no one noticing.