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I am sorry, but I have found someone else. You were my first, and I thought you would be my last. From the moment I met you, I thought you would be the only one for me. We had our moments, and for a while, we were beautiful together. In time, though, I found that we were drifting apart. You were too temperamental. I secretly wished you had a thicker skin, and could take a little more abuse. My new mistress is Anjou. Anjou is wonderful and sweet. She has that thicker skin, and unlike you, she tastes good a little tough! Anjou ripens faster and bruises less easily. While Anjou's sweetness will quite be as great as yours, I find she is juicy with a delicate flavor. Sometimes, Bartlett, I found you too cloying. Too sickeningly sweet. Too mushy. Your window of edibility was too short. Anjou and I have a slower love.

I'm sorry Bartlett, but it never would have worked out. Anjou is the pear for me now.