I still keep having the urge to harm myself to where I would probably be put in a mental hosptial if my famliy found out about my urges or if I do act upon them.
I know all you think I'm just saying this for attention well I'm not! I never do anything for attention cause I've never really liked it. I'm only telling people this so they know what is happening and if they care enough to help me out even if you don't know me.
Everytime I see a sharp object or anything I can use to tear my skin open I just want to take it and rip myself to pieces. It's extremely hard to resist this urge that I've had for so long. I don't know who to turn to for help and get me to calm down. I can't go to my famliy they'll just say things to me like its all in my head and s**t like that. I know I have close friends and a boyfriend that are here for me but it just seems like I can't seem to get in contact with them once something happens to me.
I also have been dealing with more hallucinations that are becoming worse and scaring me to tears. I usually hide in my bathroom to cry from seeing these hallucinations. I would stay in my room to cry but I share it with my younger sister. I'm usually breaking down from the different hallucinations I have that happen most of my day.
I can't even look in a mirror without screaming and freaking out. Everytime I see my reflection starring back at me I see my body burn to the point you see the bone and muscles. Sometimes I'll see bullet holes in me or different sharp objects sticking out of me. And other things that I don't wish to talk about it since I'm crying and shaking as I write this just to be heard and for someone to help me through this if they possible can.
View User's Journal
~Words From The Unknown~
Just random stuff out of my mind
 |
