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I don't know.
This thing is whatever I need it to be at the time. Currently it's a write-out-my-stream-of-consciousness-to-make-myself-feel-better place.
Too much at once.
Today, I think I finally noticed that time does indeed pass.
My neighbors put their dog down that they've had since elementary school; we all grew up with hearing a sonic boom every time a squirrel ran across their yard.

He posted about how he's going to miss him on facebook, etc. I was the only one who put a really heartfelt comment, because of previous emotional state based on AIM discussions, and for what?
Nothing. It's the longest comment on there while everyone else is just like 's**t man that sucks, sorry to hear that, your dog was bro'.

Maybe being too nice also makes people not take you seriously...
I just wish there were some way for me to turn my sarcasm off BEFORE someone gets hurt, since that seems to be the only time that I realize I'm being mean.

So, instead of studying for the math test that will make or break my grade for fourth quarter, I'm sitting here. Contemplating my place in the universe, eating strawberries and angel food cake (dad's birthday, he gets angel food cake for birthday dessert lol).

In my endless contemplation of life, I've realized that I'm sick of being alone.
Not in a literal sense, I'm surrounded by humans all day. But almost none of them think the same way that I do, pretty much everyone is ignorant, selfish, and fake around others our own age.
The ones who are selfless, open-minded, and try their hardest to be real are the ones who get the most s**t, or at least I do.
I can see everything except why.

One day, I will see why. But I can't yet; I can't read into myself.
I will learn and I will become a better person for it. My greatest fear in life will never happen if I can help it.
For now, I remain an ignorantly open-minded and accepting hypocrite.





 
 
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