Ienzo and Voxden's Fucked Up Relationship
When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love.
When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love.
If someone just glances at ZoVox from a distance, the pairing itself seems rather alright. Sometimes, it's even downright adorable! With 'Zo, Voxden can be like a puppy. He adores his 'Zo, oh yes he does! However, if one just keeps watching for a few more minutes... Something becomes very very very clear: their relationship is ******** up and unhealthy. While I almost don't like to admit it, most of what makes up their relationship is control and an unhealthy dependency on one another. This should be fairly obvious considering how they even first met.
See, right after the destruction of Radiant Garden, the original Ienzo Orosco split up into two separate beings: Zexion, who stuck with the other five apprentices, and 'Zo, who was left on the remnants of his home. The emotions that he used to be able to control were now beyond him, and all he could do was panic and fluctuate between fear, sadness, and rage, all in the greatest of extremes. In a daze of all this, he instinctively began to use the Darkness corridors, hopping from world to world in his frenzy. This wasn't exactly safe, and he quickly learned that, always running away from each new world while leaving other Heartless in his wake. (As he was the stronger one, quite a few were always following him wherever he went. Back then, he didn't quite know how to control them, or at least was too freaked to really do anything about it. ) At some point, he finally came to a stop at one world. He also, coincidentally, landed in a prison. Which brings us to Voxden.
As it's already known by now, Devon Hawking was mostly a doctor but also a serial killer for no real reason other than why the ******** not. No reason to it, no traumatic childhood, just "I wonder what the inside of a human would look like". Eventually, after killing who knows how many people, he was caught and almost seemed to encourage the legal process in putting him on death row. After a while in isolation, Devon decided this was taking way too ********' long and realized he wanted to orchestrate his own death if he really had to die. Thus, feigned sickness, off to the infirmary, and bam, stabbed the attending doctor in the eye with a pen and possibly beat someone else to death. He managed to trap himself inside and seemed perfectly happy to wait in there until they came in with guns and shot him. This also happened to be around the time that his world began to fall to the Heartless, and 'Zo stumbled into the infirmary from a corridor. In his last moments of having a heart, Devon saw 'Zo... and fell right into obsession.
I don't think even Voxden knows why he's so head over heels for 'Zo. If anyone asked, he'd probably just go into this great big babble praising 'Zo to the point that you'd get the impression he's the best thing since EXISTENCE. (Which is pretty much true, to Voxden's ******** up brain. ) Of course, there'd be some... weird things to adore in Voxden's little speech (Covered in the blood of people Voxden's murdered will probably be mentioned. ) Anyway, yeah. Of course, Voxden was also the guy who began to murder people because he was bored, so logic doesn't really work on him anyway. Point is, he fell into obsession right before another Heartless leaked through the bottom of the door and creeped on him to steal his heart. In all honesty? Not much changed. Voxden maybe became a bit more of a douchebag? Or at least stopped hiding it so much? Yeah. He was still very much in obsession over Ienzo.
Now, most normal people would probably think thrice before asking a guy in a prison infirmary with at least two dead corpses around him to join up, but 'Zo was far from normal by that point. He was acting a lot on instinct, and was probably the closest he's ever been in his life to being a normal Heartless. Primal thoughts dictated his decision in getting Voxden to join up with him. Voxden was obviously the most physically fit and deadly person in the room and obviously strong of heart. That made for a good protector/mate/companion, so 'Zo pretty much babbled at him to come with. Unsurprisingly, Voxden agreed very quickly. I imagine after that, they stayed on the decaying world for a while longer, holing up somewhere and hoarding supplies as 'Zo calmed down.
It should be noted that their relationship with each other was not immediately "romantic"/sexual. 'Zo, for the most part, stuck to Voxden's side for the above reasons and Voxden kept his hands to himself. In the beginning, he was terrified that if he did something wrong, he'd scare 'Zo away and his world would end. That's not even a joke. I'm pretty sure that, for a good few weeks, all Voxden would let himself do was stare at 'Zo when he wasn't looking. This extended into when he was sleeping. Creepy? You betcha! 'Zo mostly didn't notice because he was trying to calm himself down. After some months of keeping himself in control, Voxden finally began to slowly try to get closer to 'Zo... Mostly physically. I believe I once wrote a drabble where he once reached out to just touch 'Zo's hair and poor 'Zo just jumped so bad because it caught him offguard.
That kind of thing always used to bring out a bunch of apologies from Voxden until after a few more times of this kind of thing and Voxden just standing a bit too close to 'Zo, 'Zo finally let him know he was getting used to it and Voxden could poke him all he wanted. For a while, that was as close to affection as they got. 'Zo probably even liked it after the first surprise - Voxden was seriously his only human contact who didn't try to burn him at the stake. Dependency signal number one! Well, probably two; the first is still the need for Voxden's lovely tendency towards violence.
Voxden was not always silently reverent and shy around 'Zo, however, during their first year of being together. Remember, this is Voxden; he was still pretty much kind of a d**k, just NEVER to 'Zo. In fact, now that I think about it, when they were out in "public" ('Zo quickly learned the shadow-hiding trick), Voxden talked all the time and was a d**k to everyone he met in that oh-so charming way of his, but when they were alone, he mostly let 'Zo babble desperately about the Garden and his life and, well, the occasional bout of madness. This sometimes is still how they function around one another, when it's just them. One of the first fic I wrote showing how messed up they are showed this: 'Zo just babbling about his plans and Voxden hanging onto both him and his every word with only the occasional bit of input. Again, whenever they're with other people, Voxden has a lot more to say. This usually makes people want to punch him, but that's never stopped him before.
Now, 'Zo wasn't entirely oblivious to Voxden's "feelings". Just like Zexion, 'Zo has a very keen sense of smell, only his is slightly different; he smells emotions and the like, along with bits of light and darkness. In the beginning, I'm sure he smelled that obsession, but he was more concerned with himself and trying to not lose his ********' cool and dissolve into darkness. After time passed, however, he began to smell Voxden's obsession for him and was rather confused by it. For one thing, Voxden was a Nobody, although his "emotions" were still rather strong and bitter to smell. (The guy was batshit, which helped him mimic his emotions with greater intensity than most Nobodies are capable of. ) Another thing was that it was a foreign emotion for 'Zo to sense. Mostly he smelled the usual things people are capable of, especially fear and anger as worlds fell, but no one really gave off that obsession scent that Voxden always radiated. After a while, confused but desperate for almost anything, he mistakenly labeled it as "love" and relished it. He definitely knows that obsession =/= love by this point, but he refuses to acknowledge it as such. He's too dependent on Voxden and wants so badly to believe he has a lover. Anyone who would suggest otherwise would probably get lashed out at if they weren't Xandra.
ANYWAY, after a year of being with each other, which was mostly spent world-hopping and staying as long as they could until the world fell, 'Zo and Voxden slowly to get closer in terms of romantically. They rarely left each other's side, especially after a brief episode where they were separated searching for supplies and 'Zo ran into Xehanort's Heartless. It kind of wasn't a pleasant meeting ('Zo was so relieved at meeting one of the others that he forgot to hate him like WHOA. He's never made that mistake again. ) and Voxden quickly intervened before they scrammed. Anyway, they also began to be slightly more physical with one another, just slightly. Hugging was a pretty normal occurrence, especially with 'Zo's clingy nature, and they did some chaste kissing. It was all very soft and careful, because this was completely new to 'Zo and Voxden, again, terrified if he ******** up that 'Zo would leave him. After a year of this and still moving around from world to world, 'Zo finally and shyly suggested they have sex because "that's what lovers do". Because of his slight regression in order to preserve what little sanity he had, 'Zo's naive view was that if they did this, than it would be an act of 'claiming' and Voxden would never ever leave him. Again that control thing!
Needless to say, Voxden just about killed himself out of joy. Back then, that was his dream. He adored 'Zo and wanted to be near him in every possible way.
Surprisingly, Voxden is a very gentle bed partner. (At least, y'know, to 'Zo and possibly Rise. ) Never will he ever do rough sex with 'Zo, and he sure as hell didn't do it for their first time. (Which is somewhere on this board, I swear. ) Voxden is constantly nervous and anxious whenever he's the dominant one sexually, continuously asking if 'Zo feels okay and comfortable, if it feels good, swearing over and over again how he will never hurt 'Zo. That sort of thing. This was especially prevalent in their first time in bed together, as 'Zo knew nothing about sex and Voxden had to lead. After that, they didn't really go sex crazy, with only the occasional softcore stuff happening, although 'Zo was always curious and slightly interested in exploration.
Sometime in their third year in each other's company, 'Zo managed to hear from other Heartless about the newly deserted (kind of) Desunt Cetera, so they moved over there and convinced Xandra to join up with them and let D.C. be their base. From that point on, Voxden wasn't really encouraged to use corridors of darkness because how it wore on him. They had a cloak for him that was fashioned out of the same material as Organization coats, but that was quickly becoming little more than tatters. From that point on, they began to use gummi ships while 'Zo researched how to make their own outfits that could repel darkness.
With a sturdy foundation under their feet, 'Zo and Voxden's relationship began to quicken up until, both sexually and otherwise, it got to the point it is today.
It should go without saying that Voxden is endlessly devoted to 'Zo. He will do anything 'Zo tells him to do. Anything. If 'Zo told him to kill himself, Voxden would not hesitate to slam his fingers into his own throat and tear out his spine. He also thinks 'Zo is the sun and the moon, and is enraptured with him when they're alone. When they're with other people, disregarding Xandra, Voxden is his usual dickish self and is also extremely suspicious of others, although he'll hide this behind his usual personality and big mouth. He tends to always be hanging about/on 'Zo in these cases, body language pretty much screaming 'if you touch at him or even look at him suggestively, I will tear you apart in ways you would never believe', all with a smile on his face. Occasionally, he'll also brag, if 'Zo let's him get away with it.
If Voxden were to ever lose 'Zo, as in "killed" lose, he would go into shock, like TNC showed. After that would wear off, however, he'd quickly go onto a mass killing spree throughout the worlds, not stopping for anything and destroying all forms of life. It would be a disturbing cold roaring rampage.
Now, on 'Zo's end, he's extremely possessive of Voxden. He's his, goddammit, and anyone who thinks they can hurt Voxden or try to claim him will be viewed immediately harshly. The only person who gets to pleasure Voxden is 'Zo. The only person who gets to inflict pain on Voxden is 'Zo. No one else. Besides that, he's also extremely clingy; he will never object to Voxden draping himself over his shoulders or sitting at his feet with his arms wrapped around them. Besides this, he adores controlling Voxden; for a poor ******** up Heartless like 'Zo, to have any kind of control at all is unbelievable and Voxden, oh, Voxden just relinquishes so much control to 'Zo. Besides those twisted reasons, in his own way, 'Zo really does sincerely love Voxden, who makes him laugh and happy and has him forget just how royally ******** up his life can get at times. A lot of times, the two of them can actually seem quite sweet with one another. Those times, it's almost hard to imagine how messed up their relationship is.
Most of the time, Voxden can take care of himself pretty well out on the field, but if he ever gets into serious mortal danger or were to die... 'Zo would flip the ******** out. Amber knows that especially after the whole fiasco in TNC. It would flip-flop from one extreme to the other, panic plus worry to rage.
Now, with the whole dynamics worked out, it's onto sex!
Now, while Voxden initially was the dominant one sexually, as 'Zo explored more, he quickly realized that Voxden is putty in his hands. Slowly than quickly, he began exerting his control over Voxden more and more until he was directing their scenes in bed. Because of his exploration, he also found he had a taste for bondage (preferably Voxden in it) because, again, control! Not that Voxden minds. (He's a masochist, the freak. )
Voxden's a lot more comfortable being the submissive partner than the dominate one, and is more prone to be his usual jackass-ish mouthy self, vocally encouraging 'Zo and just being a normal guy in sex.
...Unless 'Zo takes off his glasses. Oh ho, that is an interesting little tic! See, losing his glasses has the most bizarre effect on Voxden, although whether it's the glasses or 'Zo or combined is unknown. Voxden's personality does a complete 180 without his glasses. He's quickly a blushing, wide eyed and submissive mess, whimpering and begging 'Zo, sometimes for his glasses back and sometimes certain sex-related things. This seems to encourage 'Zo, who becomes even more sexually aggressive and maybe just a tad into dirty talk. -cough- Yeah, their sex life is interesting, to say the least. Not to mention Voxden seems to have some weird connection (mental, not really physical) with his glasses, so 'Zo molesting his poor glasses makes him even more of a super b***h. Then again, just about anything 'Zo does when Voxden doesn't have his glasses on is enough to make him more of a super b***h. Despite his stuttering pleas when they're off, once Voxden gets his glasses back, he doesn't seem to half mind what 'Zo did.
Like I said. Masochistic.
Besides sex, they also adore cuddling like mad and Voxden's kink (besides being a masochist who likes it when his lover breaks out the bondage and dominatrix attitude) is crossdressing. Him or 'Zo, he barely cares.
The fact that I've thought this through quite thoroughly is slightly frightening. Even more frightening is that I'm sure I've missed something.
