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I really don't know if its just me, but it seems that in my entire life, I have nothing to be proud of since I don't have any accomplishments.It really upsets me that everything that I do just doesn't seem to work out the way I intended it to be.Maybe it's just me growing up, but I'm sick of all this drama. I only wish that I could be carefree, like when I was a child.That way, I would never have to feel emptiness, stress or negativity in my life.EVER.
But at the same time, there is so much that I want to do, it just bothers me that I may probably not be able to live out my expectations.But first things first:I have many goals for this senior year, especially spending time with my friends.I love my friends, i really do, they are the only people who actually listen to me when i am having problems with my life.They are amazing, yet I feel that we never do anything special together.So I really hope we can squeeze out as much time together as much as possible while we still can.As soon as I get a car.I hope i'll get a car.Then I can do something with my life.
There are many things I also wish to do with my life, like play ice hockey.I've loved the game for a while, but up until now i've had this sudden feeling to actually play the game. Yes, i need to know how to skate, but it's not too late now, is it? Even if i could i doubt they would have it in college for women.Who knows?Maybe i'll try out for the men's team. XD I'd so be a BAMF
Ha, for a while now, ive realized that i tend to ramble about what goes on in my head, but lots of things run in there, sort of like a river.Maybe that's why im failing all my classes.Or maybe that's because I'm retarded.It's actually a legitimate excuse.I've been hit on the head so many times, ive probably had brain damage.
But i'm totally freaking out about these tests.AND COLLEGE. WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT COLLEGE?!It's one thing for me to be retarded, but my parents aren't going to pay a single cent of it.Their intentions are good, they've always been.But i just don't know what to do about it and life itself. Hopefully, i might get good SAT/ACT scores and maybe then ill get some financial aid.But im sure that i wont, and then ill be worthless in my parents eyes.
Thats the one thing that i cannot stand.Being worthless.No matter what i do in life, ill always be called that.I just hope that someday, everything will turn out well, and i might get a happy ending where the scarecrow gets the brain, and i get a sense of peace...