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Still no response... :/ This sucks. I sent him the message because it was really bothering me. I just wanted answers to maybe ease the torturing thoughts that I've been having... but I guess it was pointless. I shouldn't have sent it. I really thought he would want to help me if I explained to him how those things made me feel, but he hasn't responded. He just keeps saying he will, but it's been a month. I'm not really sure what to think anymore. I try to keep optimistic. I am trying not to let myself get down because of a silly message and its silly contents. It's hard though... when you tell someone you love that something is really bothering you, that the answers could help you get over something that would otherwise keep hurting you, and they don't attempt to help you, it sucks. And that's hard to ignore. Harder than these stupid images, and stupid dreams, and stupid thoughts that keep coming up because I just can't stop being paranoid. :/ What reason do I have to not be? I don't know anything. I'm in the dark, I feel like there are secrets being kept from me, and that they are meant to keep me safe, but I don't want that. I want the truth, and I don't feel like that is wrong to ask for.
So what do I do now? Keep expecting a response? Ask again, or until I get one? This is really frustrating, but I don't want to give up... I want to feel ok again, and these answers are supposed to help me.