ok.. here's the jist of what's killing me right now... i'm back into depression.. yeah.. lovely isn;t it? my good friend ben.. or skippy as many of us knew him.. took his life last night.. yes.. suicide.. and my very close friend josh was hit by a motorcycle.. leg shattered.. arm broken.. and well.. as i was in the school auditorium mourning the loss of ben.. with otehr students and the couselors.. someone stole all the money in my wallet and stole my hello kitty brush.. i feel alone.. i feel like s**t.. and like almost nothing matters anymore.. i could list on forever.. these past 2 years.. since i entered highschool.. how much life has been hell.. and killed me.. i hate it all.. and i'm just so close to ending it.. but i don;t have the nerve.. to kill myself.. i can only wait.. for myself to fade away.. waste away.. until there's nothing left.. but the shell of me... my body.. the shell i live in.. so numb and alone... just wishing for love and care... but no nurturing comes to me.. only pain.. hate.. sorrow.. and i'm always.. forgotten..ignored.. un-noticed.. what's left to live for.. tell me.. because i'm literally dying.. to know..
edit: mind u i believe i'm bipolar.. or at least clinically depressed.. these emotional spurts come and go.. i'm ok now..
