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ok. so this sucks.... a lot. i know i complain too much. but it isn't like anyone else can read this anyway. well then i can talk about whatever i want. or what i don't want. he is online right now.... but he hasn't imd me. he usually does. why isn't he? he signed off, but then he signed back on. and he has an away message up. but myspace says he is signed in. so he signs into myspace before he even considers iming me? wow, that sucks. i never really thought about it. does he always do this? i know i should not be so suspicious.... but i just really want to know if this is real or not. my feelings are real, i know that much. but sometimes i just wish i could read his mind, just to see what he is really thinking. i spend all this time thinking about him, and i want to know if it is only to get hurt. i really hope not. i love him so much.should i be writing this on gaia? well i guess as long as it stays private.
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