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What my problem is, is that my heart is full of sadness, fear, anger, past mistakes and loneliness.
What happens is, when my heart pumps blood, it pumps some of this negativity throughout my entire body. Some of negatives get pumped into my brain, so I all I can think about is the pain in my heart and my brain desperately tries to fix the problem.
But, not all of this pain is pumped, so there is still a lot of it left in there. So, the blood circulates through my body and back into my heart, leaving the negativity that was in my bloodstream back into my heart, where it is deposited.
If it couldn’t get any worse, when the blood flows to my brain, I am forced to think about my pain. Thinking about my pain creates even more. So, not only do I have the negativity built up in my heart, but I’m creating more.
Every second that I am alive, more and more pain and sadness builds up in my heart.
I can just stop my hearts beating’ but I can’t. I don’t want to die, but I do. If I ended my life, that wouldn’t solve anything. That would make the source of my pain stop. She wouldn’t fall back in love with me. She wouldn’t forgive me.
Something has to be done, something has to be done.
Soon…for the better.