what can i say i feel nothing i don't feel hate i don't feel love he has a cute personality but its just as annoying everything good about him has an opposite, bad thing i don't want to hurt him that's all i do know i feel for him but i also don't want to stay in another loveless relationship even if he does love me i don't want to lead another person on i just didn't know what to do then i should have just never said yes i never should have but now i have to pay I have to hurt him tell him i don't love him because i don't and i cant lead on as if i do much longer its that damn emptiness filling my heart that inability to look at him and trick myself into thinking i love him i knew from the start that i didn't love him but i thought i might be able to at least i fooled myself into believing i might be able to but another lie for another fool was all it was at times like this its when i feel again that i shouldn't be never should have been if u refuse to believe that then blame it on the hormones but i cant help to feel that when i have to hurt those i care for i care for him but i don't love him and so i have to be honest for the both of us he needs to look for a real love and i need to think on things on my own for a while he only wanted me because i didn't feel like saying no and the only reason i didn't feel like saying no was because i didn't feel like feeling anything or i just wanted to make my heart forget forget another love another and then forget and i always say the same thing i say I'm not going to be the one to break up with them either because i love them too much to do that or because it takes more effort breaking up than staying together but i always find myself saying goodbyes i always find a reason "he didn't love me" "u deserve better" "I want to become better for u" even now "he needs to find someone else" I'm full of excuses but can i make up for them i don't know and I'm scared to try but, its the least i owe them, right?
Ayala55 · Tue Jan 05, 2010 @ 04:33am · 0 Comments |