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Empty Air
Stuff. Stuff on mind. Stuff for absolutely NO reason.
Stepmom
Hello. Been forever. And a day. I'm a senior in High School. Go figure. I'm getting old? Naw. I need to vent without someone unnecessary seeing. So here I go:

At the moment I'd say I was depressed. Funny since I'm aware of it I guess. As of late, my Stepmom has become completely unreasonable. I'm tired. Of all the stress in my life, it comes from this house, from only two people. My stepmom and my stepsister. It's almost like Cinderella, but not. My dad has finally become slightly more aware of the situation, though he doesn't help it. In fact, sometimes he makes it worse. I'd move out but I'd be leaving him alone in a house with two completely unreasonable, childish people. Both my stepmom and my stepsister are manipulative, childish people. It took way too long to discover this. Way too long. I get lonely really easily, which is dumb. It's not like I don't have people to talk to. But at the same time, I feel like I don't. Everyone seems superior to me somehow whether it's in art, vocal or anything of the sort.
Among other things, we apparently have a ghost in the house. I can attest to this, however, as I have "seen" it in a sense and I feel it sometimes. This is weird to talk about. My stepsister and stepmom have both conveyed that they feel that our house is too negative and they blame my dad and they think this is where it has come from. I disagree. Of all the people who are the most negative, it's them. Go figure. My stepmom whines and complains that our house is "like a dungeon" and hates how messy it is. Among other things, she complains that my dad never does anything right away even though we don't have the money to do anything and she doesn't have a job. Apparently she's looking.
Everyone tries to make things fair between my stepsister and I since we're so close in age. Clearly this means the following: If we both have the same thing, it's fair. If she has something I don't, it's fair. If I have something she doesn't, it is unfair. Did you catch that? I can't have something she wants or else it isn't fair. I'm sick of this "fairness" issue. For my birthday two years ago my mom bought me tickets for us to go see "The Phantom of the Opera" broadway thingy down in Portland. My stepsister informed me that she didn't want to hear anything about it because it wasn't fair. I would understand slightly if it weren't for the fact that it was my birthday present. Her mom took her to see it. For my birthday, she got to see it too. I would call that unfair.
I'm tired. I've mentioned this. I realize I'm complaining. But I'm tired and lonely and stressed and there isn't anyone to talk to who won't tell me I'm wrong, try to reason with me, or just listen. I figured (I've used that word quite frequently) that if I made a journal, no one could interrupt.
Unlike Cinderella also, I have no handsome prince that will come take me away. I wish. (That's another thing. All the guys are interested in my stepsister. It doesn't matter if I meet him first. They all like her. It almost makes me think that something is wrong with me.)
For the last time, I'm tired.
Pray for me, please. I need something that will make everything better and nothing is here save God. Even then, a person that I can touch or something is always nice.

Sorry for the long post. Good night.





 
 
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