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Muh journal. Read if you Dare Just a bunch of random stuff...


Moldy Aids
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To Raine:
You've always been there for me. Whether I wanted you to be or not. And for that, I thank you. Your one of my best friends and I love you to death. We've been through a lot and no matter what happened, or how much both of us hurt, we still remained friends. Although I've never met you, it feels like I've know you for forever. We've laughed together, cried together, and probably hated each other at times. But I know, that no matter what happens, you will always be my best friend.

To Samantha:
I love you. I used to hate those words and their meaning until you said them to me. I remember when I pretended to hate you for leaving me. For getting close to someone else. I remember when I realized that you were cutting yourself and hurting all the time. I hated it. And I wanted to cry, but I knew that I had to be strong for the both of us. When I told you I started hurting myself again, I didn't know what you would do. But least of all, I didn't expect you to try and leave. I cried and cried and cried when we had that conversation. And I still have it. Saved somewhere private. But you know, I was so glad when you came back. You have no idea...Ive never had a happier moment. I love you Sammy. And that's that.

To Rachel:
Rachel, you really are such a Jew. And your everything that I hate. Your my enemy, my alter ego, my best friend. And I love you. Back in 6th grade, when everyone left, I was still there. Standing in the background. Waiting for you to notice me. And the fact that you weren't alone. That you never were. The moment you did, I really thought that I was just a substitute. And that you too, with time, would leave me, but you didn't. We're freshman now, and your still here. I'm scared though. That with everything that's been happening, that you'll forget about me and leave. I fear that everyday. Because I know that without my 'Vamp-Girl', Im going to be one lost 'Wolf-Girl'. But even if you do forget, I'll just stand in the background and wait for you to notice me.

To Raina:
You are my older sister. I hate you. I love you. I look up to you. And more than anyone else, I trust you. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you.And I don't expect you to forgive me. Not ever. But...that's okay. There is so much I want to say. But I just don't know how to say it. Your my sister, and I will always going to be here for you. And honestly, I don't know what I would do without you.

To Jake:
You really were my best friend. And over the time that I knew you, I fell in love with you. I told you everything and we always had something to talk about. No matter how silly. Like pillows. Really, who has hours of conversations about pillows? Even though your gone, I still care about you and I think about you just about everyday. Sometime I think about the fact that you loved to push me off the merry-go-round. Or that night I asked you to go outside so I could talk to you. And you did. I was happy. Elated even when I saw you. But how could you? Turn around and go back inside. I hate you for that. Deep down though, I know that even when your reason for leaving is gone, I'm still going to be here. Waiting in silence for you to come back.

To Michael:
What can I say? I'm honestly speechless when it comes to you. After everything I've done, and everything I've told you, you've never gotten mad at me. I wonder sometimes, whats going through your head when these things happen. Though I'd like to apologize for anything I've done to hurt you. I love you Michael. Your like a brother to me.

To Jon:
"Oh my." I don't know where I'd be without you. You've helped me so much. To get past Jake and my Uncle. My sister and parents. Every time I talk to you, I can't stop smiling. The thought of you, it makes me so unbelievably happy. I haven't felt this way in such a long time. And I really think I do love you. If not, this is the closest I've ever been. I'm selfish. I don't want to let this feeling go. But I can't help to think sometimes, that this is all a dream and that when I open my eyes, your not going to be there.

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These people mean the world to me. Whether they are still with me or not. They've always been there for me. No matter what was happening. And honestly, I don't know what I would do without them. I love you guys <3.




 
 
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