If I spill my heart out to you, will you listen?
My confessions mean nothing to myself anymore
But maybe you think they do
I want to tell you the truth
But... It's hard to tell what the truth is these days
Is it the mask
Or is it the lies
Maybe the tears know
Would they lie to me?
They could
But I think I can handle this disappointment
They fall for the same reasons
Time and time again
The reasons are blatantly clear
My journal screams them at me when I unfold her pages
And my dreams make me live them
Every night
When my eyes are closed...
I've been hurting
And have been for years now
But who do I tell
Who listens
Who holds me until my eyes are dry
Who cares
For me...
A little speck of dirt
Useless in every way
I hope
No one does...
What a silly thing to say
But it's true
For the longest time I have fended for myself
And I hope this will be the last personal thing I write
Because
I don't want anyone to know anymore
I want to be secretive again
Back when no one knew anything
I'm disgusted with myself for ever letting anyone know in the first place
I want them to think of me
As a human again
Not an animal
Because
With everything they know...
What's the difference anymore?
Yes. I love that boy.
So much it hurts
Yes. I have the scars
From loving that boy
Along with fresh wounds
But I don't want them to heal anymore.
What is life without pain anyway...
He means the world to me
But it's okay
I know I mean nothing to him
Like I mean nothing
To most people anymore
His smiles are lies
And I fall for them
Every time
I fall so hard
And hurt myself
But its the "good" hurt
The kind that lest me know
Nothing has changed
Because if it did...
I would be genuinely happy
And that would be a mistake.
This
A final testimony
Of my heart
Now forever cased in stone
My confessions mean nothing to myself anymore
But maybe you think they do
I want to tell you the truth
But... It's hard to tell what the truth is these days
Is it the mask
Or is it the lies
Maybe the tears know
Would they lie to me?
They could
But I think I can handle this disappointment
They fall for the same reasons
Time and time again
The reasons are blatantly clear
My journal screams them at me when I unfold her pages
And my dreams make me live them
Every night
When my eyes are closed...
I've been hurting
And have been for years now
But who do I tell
Who listens
Who holds me until my eyes are dry
Who cares
For me...
A little speck of dirt
Useless in every way
I hope
No one does...
What a silly thing to say
But it's true
For the longest time I have fended for myself
And I hope this will be the last personal thing I write
Because
I don't want anyone to know anymore
I want to be secretive again
Back when no one knew anything
I'm disgusted with myself for ever letting anyone know in the first place
I want them to think of me
As a human again
Not an animal
Because
With everything they know...
What's the difference anymore?
Yes. I love that boy.
So much it hurts
Yes. I have the scars
From loving that boy
Along with fresh wounds
But I don't want them to heal anymore.
What is life without pain anyway...
He means the world to me
But it's okay
I know I mean nothing to him
Like I mean nothing
To most people anymore
His smiles are lies
And I fall for them
Every time
I fall so hard
And hurt myself
But its the "good" hurt
The kind that lest me know
Nothing has changed
Because if it did...
I would be genuinely happy
And that would be a mistake.
This
A final testimony
Of my heart
Now forever cased in stone
