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Hello everyone! I haven't wrote anything for quite some time and i haven't finished my previous story... :/ I was looking for the continuation of that story but i couldn't find it and i don't think like I'll feel like rewriting it again so till i DO find it i decided to post small stories from time to time. The one I'm going to post now is called, well... Diary Of Final Path... XD It is a one-shot story that i hope you will like. ^^

WARNING: This story is fiction! Also, it's a sad one, so if you think you won't be able to take it, my advice: don't read it.

So here it goes... razz

Diary Of Final Path(one-shot)

Somewhere along the lines I lost it… That one thing, that kept me going forward as far as I could go. But today I have reached my stop. Seems like every single thing I wanted to run away from caught up with me. It is ironic actually. As I laugh now I realize what kind of life I had and I am not satisfied. I have been blind for the things in front of me, and what makes it worse… I did so willingly. My life as I knew it, now is gone…

It started 27 years ago, on 1st May, when I first opened my eyes and saw two people I later knew as mother and father. Two kind faces that did their best to raise me. There didn’t seem to be any problems in my Elementary school. I was popular and had good grades, but as a person grows it also changes absorbing the experience it is given. From the beginning we are taught about importance of morality and rules, of difference between good and bad, of social position… In the same time we were never given the answer why. Out teachings taught us we must reach for the society and older we get the more we want to be part of it. It is how we were programmed. It is how our parents were programmed. It is how we all were ‘taught’. As I got in High school I started to feel out of place. You can call it teenage stupidity or just a phase but I knew better than that. The first time in my life, my real me was screaming for freedom, for something more; and it was painful. As our society dictates in cases like that you need to seek help, so I did. But instead of being ‘helped’ I realized something. They were ill as much as I was and how can someone with the same problem help you when they can’t help themselves? All they did was buried those feelings deep inside ignoring their screams. I couldn’t do the same. How could I when their screams were so painful? As the screams became more powerful and painful I began to listen. I went my own path of understanding and life. I was no longer the part of society and the society was no longer part of me. I became hated for my difference and ways but I didn’t hate back.

That lasted till 19th October 8 years ago. I was maybe following my own path, but in cases like that you tend to get lost. Why? For there is no one beside you to help you get back on your feet once you fall under the pressure. I realized the fault of my choice but I didn’t really regret it… at least not all too much. I was lonely, I was alone. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be like that forever. That is the day I met ‘her’. The girl, that became my best friend. Two completely different worlds but, indeed, compatible. We both followed our own paths even if they were different ones. We were each others support.

21st of October 5 years ago she died. She fell victim of a drunken driver. Biggest curse anyone can be a victim of is not death itself, but the curse of a person that caused the death, especially if that person is your brother. Yes. You read it right. The person that caused my friend’s death was her brother. He could never forgive himself for what he did. It is interesting how life sets things up. It is also interesting how feelings go against you and spread through your body like cancer. Her death was the beginning of my end. Her brother killed himself after he was released from jail. He said he paid for his crime in world of humans but now he has to face his real punishment in front of God. Foolish boy. Doesn’t he know suicide is also a sin in his God’s eyes?

Anyway… I continued to walk through my life alone without anyone to support me or me to return the same favor. I disliked society, I avoided it. Their ways insulted me. They were like a bunch of dogs that followed their master they never had. I turned my back to the world completely and in return it turned its back to me.

Year ago on 2nd May I was diagnosed with a disease that couldn’t be cured. My own blood was eating me. Destroying me little by little. Diagnosed time to live: Few months.

Even though diagnosed with such a terrible thing, it wasn’t the disease that scared me. It was quite the opposite. It was my life that did. Now I am lying in hospital bed writing to ease my pain. My hands are shaking, my end is near. I haven’t had a visitor since I became sick, not that I expect anyone to come.

4th May was the day a little girl came to my room. She is seven years old and a person would never think she is also the victim of disease. Her smile brightens the room every time and my cold heart has begun to melt.

I don’t know which date it is anymore. I just know the girl visits me every day even though I never talk to her. She always comes with stories about her life. Such foolish stories only a child would enjoy hearing. Yet I am amazed in how small things she finds happiness. It seems I let my guard down and this girl became my friend. Everyday, she visits my almost lifeless body. The closer I am to death the more sense I see in her words, in her stories. Inside I’m laughing like a maniac because I can’t understand how come such a small child can possess such wisdom. I have realized that it’s not my disease that is killing me. I’ve been killing myself slowly for much longer time. My bitterness and inability to understand the world made me miss so much. I believe this disease is only a product of my way. I still write ‘my way’ when I know is not my true one. I have missed ‘my true way’ long time ago and made the wrong turn to wrong way. But I was blind to see it. I didn’t want to admit my mistakes because I was afraid. I avoided people and hated them for who they are when in reality I was the one wrong. I never even realized I will never reach my true way the way I was. True path lies within each ones grasp if they are ready to see it. It lies before us waiting for us to go its way, but many… so many of us are blind. We spend years, decades and more to find it and yet... we never do… Why are we so blind to something that stands right in front of us? Is it because in far distance we can see, it is the harder path even though more worthy? Is it because we are afraid of our true ways? Is it because we don’t understand? Why is it that only few short moments before our death we realize? I just now realize the world hadn’t turned its back to me. Not really…

I’m looking at this small little girl. I can see she has been walking her true way for a long time now. She’s smiling at me and holds my hand firmly. I may have missed my true path but I have found myself a true friend I shall protect even after I die. For some reason she’s crying and I can’t help to smile at her as I feel cold and darkness surrounding me…

“Our choices are our paths, and from all the paths we must choose you were my favorite one…”