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Mental Cesspool
All the little thoughts, problems, and concerns that I may be dealing with at any given time, spread out for the internet to see.
Lord
I was talking to Tintik on the phone for a while. It's become a positive that I want to move in with him. He and I discussed it. I didn't want to just take off without any notice, so I let Corrina know that I was gonna move sometime. She asked when, I said I'm not sure. She did the thing where she just shuts down (no conversation, won't look at you, messes with something random, and doesn't bother to discuss the matter at hand, which was very difficult for me, because this is something that I wanted tot alk to her about, and she didn't want to have anything to do with it.)

I asked her to look at a picture of him and be honest about what she thought, and she didn't have anything to say. I tried to have conversations with her, and she didn't want to have anything to do with it. I finally asked her what her problem was, and she said that "I don't think it's a good idea, and that's all I'm going to say." When I asked why she didn't think it was a good idea, she said "I just don't." (I'm nearly convinced it's because he's aetheist [don't believe in god, have no idea how to spell the actual word]).

I told her that I was actually trying to make conversation, and it's her own fault that things were awkward (paraphrasing, of course). And think about it. At Tintik's, I'll have a great place to stay, since he lives in basically a mansion. I'll have a job GUARANTEED because of his parents. I'll be able to get into a community college, and fast. His parents will even pay for my train ticket.

At Corrina's? No job, and middle of nowhere. No car to go find a job, and buses take too long to be convenient. Corrina and I are rocky at best right now. Yeah, I know them pretty well, and yeah, I'm in an environment I'm familiar with, but I like adventure, too. I'm not complaining, because this is a great place. But it was only meant to be temporary in the beginning. And now Corrina's doing what I consider pouting, because she doesn't want me to go. In my defense, however, she even said that the longer I stay here, the longer she'll be attached to me, and the more she'll get depressed when I leave. I'm getting

No, you know what? I don't need to make any ******** excuses for myself. I want to move. I don't know why I should be letting this get to me so badly when it's my own decision. Anyone can see that it'll be a great place for me. Why does it have to be so difficult? After all, the only things stopping me from moving are Corrina and Nettie. Corrina's making me feel guilty and Nettie I might leave behind, but I'll always chase after her, just like in Millenium Actress. So why does it have to be such a problem? Geeze.





 
 
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