today was a hard day for me. my heart aches and my mind is realing. all day i have felt sick and i am in to minds. what do i want? is the question that keeps running through my mind.what DO i want? do i want to be single or together? if i want to be alone do i want to escape with the truth or a lie? i'm not sure anymore and i need an unbiased party to help me. my past boyfriends want me and my current boyfriend is going very fast and my instincts are telling me to run. how do i cope? i need to tell him but i can't. i just can't. my loves never really finish. it seems i build them up on a pedistule and when i really get to know them that pedistule crumbles away. i can't seem to stop either. i don't think i should date till i'm 16. i really don't.but how should i tell them? and it's not like i haven't dated before. i had an almost serious relationship with my past girlfriend. we went to second base before i thought of my now current boyfriend and stopped. she and i have a strange connection. we can tell each other everything with out being embarrassed. with my current boyfriend...i stop before i reveal my true nature.
~mizu~
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