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I have a question..
Is it best to have fake happiness..the kind that isn't real..either by drug or believing and having hope only in this one thing..but it really will end up nowhere? And you know it'll end up nowhere, but you choose to believe anyway and you're just happier that way. Or, is it best to have a real sadness..the kind that you just can't deal with anymore? You don't even know what your purpose is anymore, and you don't think you'd make much a difference-- dead or alive?

Its been a while since I updated, and all I feel is depression, or atleast I think I'm depressed, I seem to have most of the symptoms..but I don't know how to deal with it. I have quite a few ideas, really, but I don't know if they're for the best.

I just don't know what to do or who to turn to anymore. I don't want to trouble any of my friends I know personally with stuff like this, coz mostly they're going through more than I am. Mehh..
Hope everyone's having a good holiday and all since everyone seems to like this time of year so much..