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Common Sense (Duh)
My writing, random thoughts, ideas, and... whatever else. :
Steve the Umbrella?
Here's one of the random crummy stories I'm using to boost my wordcount. It's not finished yet, but I'm not sure if I will. It hasn't been edited, and honestly,it isn't good. But it might get a giggle or two, so here ya go:


The life of an umbrella is a very unique thing. For every umbrella, life is different, just like every human’s life is different. For example, if you are a chicken, you are probably either going to be eaten up by an animal, or raised on a farm until you are old, and then eaten up by humans. However, when you are an umbrella, there are many ways that your life could be spent.

There once was an umbrella named Steve. Steve was his name because that was what his parents liked to call him. By parents, I mean his owners, because umbrellas can’t reproduce.

The owners of this umbrella were Betsy and Robert Miller, a lovely old couple with a fetish for naming their inanimate objects. Betsy’s maiden name was Pumpernickel, but she did not much like that last name, so she decided to get married and have a new one. Now you may be wondering what this has to do with the umbrella- well, be patient, because in good time, you will know.

Betsy Pumpernickel, before she was old enough to marry and become Betsie Miller, of course, lived on a farm out in the Middle of Nowhere. The Middle of Nowhere was a place where anything could happen, because usually, there was only a small group of people to watch such miracles being performed. Because of this, the miracles could happen on a daily basis, and their secret would never be revealed, because no one would believe a miracle if only a few loonies from a land called Nowhere had seen it.

When Betsy lived in Nowhere, she used to see miracles all the time. In fact, she saw so many miracles, that she started to forget the way that things are supposed to be. She began to see miracles of up becoming down, so she started to forget if up was up or down was up. But one day, she saw a miracle so amazing, it inspired her for the rest of her life.

On this day, she rose from her bed, and looked out the window, to see a tornado coming toward her house. Betsy knew this tornado would not damage her home, because that would take a miracle, and miracles happen daily in the Middle of Nowhere.

So Betsy went to the breakfast table, and began to eat the pancakes her mother had made for her. Or perhaps her father had made them; her father liked to watch TV and eat all day, and for him to help out around the house would have taken a miracle.

Suddenly, the ground began to rumble and the cups and saucers began to shake.


That's as far as I got. sweatdrop





 
 
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