Friendship Pistol
Fact: Somnam Seed is one of the most annoying people in existence.
However, Xandra figures he could be worse. After all, he could be one of those annoying touchy types or some one who lacks the sense to see how disgusting meat is. Actually, they're rather similar, when she thinks about it.
Don't mistake all that as some sort of hint that she's fond of the crazy b*****d. She's not. For one thing, he talks too much, and seems to like pissing people off. (Luxord and Axel have especially been making angry eyes at the idiot. ) It's just that, compared to the rest of the Organization, he's not half bad, and one of the few people she's sure she can trust.
Xemnas is crazy, and crazy people are something she's very familiar with, so it's not like anyone can tell her she doesn't have any experience with the whole thing. Besides, he probably has some sort of complex with his equally weird moon.
Xigbar is alright, but he's too nosy, and seems to have pissed quite a few people off.
Xaldin's an emotionally distant d**k. Enough said.
Vexen is far too interested in her body's odd structure for his own good, and his voice hits annoying pitches when he's pissed. Thanks to apparently half the Organization, this is almost all the time.
Lexaeus... There's actually nothing wrong with that guy. He's strong, smart, and tends to get along with almost everyone. The perfection instantly sets off her paranoia.
Zexion, for all that he's charming and polite, is secretly a magnificent b*****d, and Xandra treats him like she'd treat a bomb: carefully.
Saix is a bipolar b*****d who's almost as obsessed with the moon as Xemnas is. His predictable unpredictability and dangerousness is enough to keep her away.
Axel only seems like a sarcastic joker, but there's thorns to his tone and the way he walks that even Xandra notices.
Demyx is one of the few she doesn't mind. Of course, he was the one who found her and the first not to be a d**k, so perhaps she's just biased.
Marluxia's a douche, Larxene's a b***h, Roxas is friends with Axel so that's enough reason to worry, and Xion... Xandra has a bad feeling about Xion.
As for Luxord?
...The Brit's asking for it.
"You familiar with Darwinism? If you were from where I was from, you'd be ********' dead because you can't let this dumbass' words roll off." Pointedly ignoring Somnam's eager bouncing at the confrontation, Xandra places her hands up on her hips as she stares up into Luxord's eyes with a steel blank gaze. True, she still doesn't have any memory of where she's from, but hey. She's a cyborg thing who's good with guns (facts she and the rest of the Organization learned rather early on). That has to count for something, she figures.
"If that's true," he says, an eye still twitching (what exactly was the Surgeon Idiot doing before she came onto the scene?), "then I believe Somnam would be dead upon arrival on your world."
"Hey! Lulu, that's not very-"
KA-BLAM!
There's a stunned moment of silence as the entirety of the room stares down at the bullet hole in the ground, just centimeters from Somnam's feet. With smoke curling around lazily near the muzzle of her pistol (something she'd long come to keeping on her with how long her laptop setup took), Xandra cocks the gun up to her lips and blows. "Who said you could open your mouth?" she asks, an angry phrase that's said in almost perfect monotone and accompanied by the perfect look of blank apathy. "Maybe you missed this, but I'm trying to cover your sorry a**. Now shuddup and look pretty."
A bark of laughter, and Axel slings a leg over the armrest of the chair he's sitting in. "Man, what is he, your ho?"
Surprisingly enough, Xandra actually seems to think this through. Finally, she nods her head. "Sure, let's go with that."
"I am not a prostitute!" Somnam interrupts angrily. "Do have even the very inkling of what diseases-" He jumps as another shot is fired off, this time somewhere near his elbow.
"Didn't I just say to be quiet?" Xandra says, narrowing her eyes although the expression doesn't seem that serious. "I'm trying to keep this jackass-" An annoyed gesture with her gun to Luxord, who takes a step back warily lest her finger slips. "-from bustin' a cap in your whiter-than-white boy a**, but if you keep talkin', then I might do it myself." She's serious, too. After all, fool's a doctor. He can just patch himself up, it's not like there's any reason to worry. "Now, let's go back to your room, Flowers." Like a sheperd with a particularly unruly sheep, she taps him on the rear with the butt of her pistol, herding him through a portal despite his protests. When he's finally through, she pauses, one foot already into the Corridor, and looks back at Luxord. "And as for you," she says, pointing her gun at him to emphasize her point. "Keep your mitts offa the dumb b***h. If anyone's going to shoot him in the kneecaps, it's me, not you, Smoking Boy." Then, just like that, she's gone, and the corridor snaps shut dismissively.
Curiously, Axel looks over to Marluxia and Larxene, who are curled up on a couch together and looking at Luxord expectantly. "Wait, I thought she called you 'Flowers'?"
As Marluxia glowers, Larxene snickers and waves her hand about vaguely. "Nah, Mar is 'Rosie'. Jeez, Axel pay attention."
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"I just- I cannot believe you!" Like some immature kid, Somnam puffs his cheeks out and crosses his arms, looking away. "Referring me to such a disgusting occupation! And I thought we were- Oooh, what's that?" For a moment, he's distracted as Xandra places a small pot with a foreign plant inside and a rather thick if small little book on one of his tables.
"Found 'em on the world I just got sent to," she says simply. "Figured that since you dabble with these so much, I'd get you a souveneir." There's a silence, and when she looks up, he has his hands clasped to his chest while his eyes are wide and practically sparkle with tears.
"You like me, you really like me!" he cries overdramatically, and anyone with less patience than her would have smacked him right there. "Oh, all the abuse is just how you show sisterly affection, isn't it?"
"...You're not crazy, Surgeon Face."
"Somnam, Somnam-"
"I think you're just really stupid."
