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Today

We just arrived in Hawaii yesterday. . . I'm using a friend's computer. . . I was talking to the one I love most as well as my niece. . . I told her that I loved her. . . But in a family way. . . My love must have thought differently. . . He thought I facepalmed him. . . His eyes glowed red and he left. . . Now I'm sitting here. . . Crying. . . Because I hate having him upset at me. . . It hurts more than he can ever possibly know. . . Especially since we can only talk on weekends. . . I miss hearing his voice. . . I miss him in general. . . Now he's pissed off at me. . . It's hard. . . We live a long way apart. . . Me being in Hawaii. . . Just makes the distance greater. . . I love him more than he will ever know or possibly could know. . . And him being pissed off at me. . . Does not help my self-esteem. . . We went swimsuit shopping yesterday. . . My mom says I'm "too fat" for a two-piece bathing suit. . . My auntie agreed with her. . . I have practically no self-esteem left now. . . I don't know what to think. . . I've always been thin. . . Am I really fat. . . ? I don't know. . . The two family members I trusted most agreed that I am. . . I don't know what to believe. . . My life is practically falling to pieces around me. . . My birthday isn't being celebrated this year. . . It's supposedly my brother's turn. . . Even though his birthday is in November. . . We also may lose our house. . . So. . . When I come back from summer vacation. . . It may not be to the same house I grew up in. . . I won't be close to my best friends anymore. . . We won't be able to hangout anymore. . . My life is looking pretty crappy right now. . . But. . . There is always someone out there who's worse off than you. . .