I messed up, not in school, well, ya, but not as bad as one might think. its only the fact that I have a debt to pay off and my grades will be held until it is paid.
Ya, you could say I have a bad procrastination problem.
Lately I've been doing better. I've gotten my work in and all the things I thought were top priority. I guess my priorities were a bit off in a small department.
I don't know what to do. I'm tired, stressed, and downright drained. I mean, I just wanna go somewhere. Get out of here and run away.
My future is really uncertain right now. I can't think, and alot of my hope for anything in the remaining years of my life has gone down the toilet.
I've lost my passion for what I loved.
I feel like I'm dead, as if theres nothing left in my body.
Hell, I've been starting up on drugs lately, mostly drinking and pot. but I wouldn't mind something to take me out of this reality, something to make me forget that I can't stand this life anymore. Don't get calls anymore. My family moved so much I really don't have a home, and I just feel like a stranger in the one I do go to.
I wasn't supposed to be. Not now, not ever. A slip up between two young people back in 1987. Now their lives are finally nice and complete. People for them to love and children born with their mother and father married. Like every child could want.
Now I'm fading, slowly being forgotten as the people I care about find happiness. But thats what I want for them, to be happy and have a happy family.
I don't know where I'll go after Job Corps. Probably in search of a home, ya know that place where you feel you belong? I'm gonna search for it. Hopefully I'll find this place, where my own family will be waiting.
Jaymison Community Member 
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