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Moonlight Mermaid journal
Chapter 32: Mission of the Heart (The heartbreak hits)
User Image I ran across the top of the buildings in Sunset town like a ninja. The place lived up to its name. The sun was up high in the sky, and the town was empty. Everyone at the beach catching some sun. Perfect to me. Now no one would see me kill Mat. I still hadn't spotted him though. But seeming as he was apparetnly looking for me this was probably where he would be coming to now. He was quite stupid (no offense) he wasn't thinking or looking in the right places. Why would I be in a place that was so open and friendly like. When my heart had been turned over to darkness? When my Lelouch and me lived out our lives in the dark? I jumped over to the roof of another building, and looked around below me. Still no Mat. For someone who could run very fast he was very slow. I noticed a sign behind me said it was a dangers high voltage area. HA! No threat to me. I gently brezze blew and my long pink hair blew in the wind. My cloths ruffled. My outfit was purple and black. I looked like the character Suigintou from that anime/manga Rozen Maiden. The one with white/gray/lavderish hair though mine was pink right now and her eyes were red but mine were brown right now. This character dressed much like a Gothic Lolita-sometimes "Loli-Goth" has two definitions. The term "Gothic and Lolita" is used by the Japanese to describe a sub-culture of teenagers who wear a wide range of fashions. It is used by English language sources mainly to describe a specific subset of Lolita fashion. I also had sproted dark black wings on my back no dought because Lelouch had helped traind me with shadow magic. My skin had become a bit more pale, and it I wasn't even sick. It was like I had actually changed skin tone where I hadn't been in sunlight in so long. Besides the hair and eye color...my outfit also included a mask. This way if anyone in Sunset town was helping Mat look for me they wouldn't recognize me. Hopefully my distictive pink hair wouldn't give me away.

User Image "Hey you!" I heard a voice say from behind. I turned to find a gurard walking towards me. "Didn't you see the sign. This is a dangers area! You shouldn't be here!" He said. "I could say the same about you." I told the guard giving him a death glare. "You stand in the way of what I'm here for." I told him. "What are you taling about?!" He said. "Step aside and leave me be...and I promise no harm comes to you dear sir." I said, reaching for my sword, which I had scarberd at my side. "Look lady...I don't know who the hell you think you are...but a kid like you shouldn't be-" He said. "SILENCE!" I yelled. I lunged at the man, and ran my sword through him. When I pulled the sword out, it was covered in blood, and the guard dropped to the ground dead. "You should have listend and headed my words." I said to the corpse, cleaning the blood of my sword and putting it back in my scarberd. "Now I have someone to find...so I can complete my lovers wishes." I looked down at the town again. Nothing. I looked towards the end of town and saw what looked like a cloud of dust coming towards town. I smiled wickedly. "Finally." I said. I watched as Mat came rushing into the town with his friend Aoi with him. She was running at same speed. No dought the shoes she wore was enchnting her. I had to get Mat alone though. Mat told her something and they split up. Apparetnly to look for me. Perfect...while that little Wrench was serching for me...I could have a plesent talk with Mat.

User Image I couldn't really explain it...but when I had finally got up off the floor back at mine and Lelouch's little home...I felt OBLIGED to obay his wishes. Though he hadn't used his Geass on me...it was something inside me that made me want to obay him. A want to please him. I would wait for Mat to notice there was someone watching him from above before I made a move. I wanted a fair fight. Or at least...to give him a chance to fight for his life. Not that he would have a chance. I stood as paticanly on top of the building waiting for him to notice. I think he could sense my aura (thanks to his aura powers) and his good sense of smell (where he could be a werewolf) he probably smelt the cherry blossom tree shampoo sent from my hair. He was looking around him...side to side...forward, backwards...but not up. At least not yet. I felt the part of my dress, under my leg tied to my leg, where te dagger was. It was still there...and ready to kill! Then Mat seemed to catch on to where my aura, and cherry blossom sent was coming from and looked upward towards me. Our eyes met. He seemed to gasp. I knew he knew it was me. Not only because of my sent and aura...but because of my damn forsaken distincitvie pink hair. I knew that would be a flaw. But really I wanted him to know it was...not that he would have trouble with his wolf senses and aura powers. Though I was up about 3 stories above him I heard him mumble "Melissa..." as he looked up at me. He smiled up at me...apparently glad to see that I was ok and safe. But he seemed sad in the eyes...to see me dressed as if I were depressed and ready to commit suicide. Dressed gothic and emo.

I didn't return the smile. I just stared at him. He seemed to notice. The silence continued except for the distant sound of the trees blowing in the wind. Our eye contact didn't break. His smile faded...he seemed to know something was wrong. I looked up at the sky for a minute to see a storm starting to come in as the wind got stronger. I smiled wickedly, which I knew he knew was not my true smile (if I smiled at all) and said "Let the storm...begin." I said this in more then a whisper, but I knew he heard me. I jumped down from the building as the wind blew, strong and furious. I landed on my feet gently and unharmed. I noticed as the wind blew my hair had changed to a gray/while and lavenderish sort of clolor I guess my eyes had changed to red. I stared at Mat across from me...he stared back. He knew something was wrong. I think I had confussed him through all of this. I pulled the dagger out from under my dress (again it was tied to my leg) and it seemed to frighten Mat a little. Just like in my nightmare. "Melissa..." He said. I stared at him with a sort of board but straight face. I didn't want him to know I didn't want to do this. "Don't take it personal, Mat..." I said. "But it seems Lelouch finds you to be a obstical....and thus he wishes for you to be eliminated." A tint of hystaria and my voice craking had been in my words. Hopefully he hadn't noticed. But Mat sometimes seemed to know me so well he might have.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked. "I told you...your an obstical to Lelouch." I said. "But to you..." He said. I should of guessed he would hear the hystaria in my voice. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I mean...do you want me dead? Do you even want to kill me?" He asked. The fear struck my mind. I didn't want to kill him. Truely I didn't. But it was what Lelouch wanted...and I felt...obliged to obay...and he hadn't even used Geass on me. Mat had noticed my change. "If you don't want to kill me then why are you here to. Just because Lelouch wants you to kill me! Because he wants me dead!" He exclaimed. "What the hell did he do to you! Is he controlling you or something!? Brainwashed you!? Or is it because you feel obliged to obay his orders?!" "Don't talk about him that way." I said. "Why?" Mat said. "You don't even know him! You don't understand his past! THE PAST THAT'S MADE HIM THE WAY HE IS! A SAINT! A GOD LIVING AMONGST MORTALS! AN ANGEL!" I cried the tears leaking out. "A saint! YOU THINK HE'S A SAINT! Melissa, if he were a saint he wouldn't do this or make you or anyone else do this kind of stuff!" Mat exclaimed. "You wouldn't know a saint if one came and b***h slaped you across the ******** face!" I yelled. I think Mat knew I wasn't myself. And that I wasn't being controlled...just confussed...and brainwashed thanks to Lelouch tricking my febile mind. Hopefully he knew that. I wanted him to know that if nothing else.

User Image I beant down into a croach position as to attack. "Please, Melissa! Think about what your doing!" Mat exclaimed. "What's there to think about!?" I cried. "I have my orders from Lelouch and I'm here to obay them!" "But it's not what YOU want!" Mat cried out. "No it's not!" I yelled. The tears were trying to come out again. "But it's what LELOUCH wants!" "How am I even an obstical?!" Mat asked. "Your a poision aiming to destroy mine and his love!" I yelled. "That's the s**t he's got you believing! That's what you think!" Mat said. "Melissa, I'm trying to save you!" He said. I hinted that was a sign he loved me...though Mat saved pretty much anyone who needed it. "He doesn't love you! He's in love with your singing voice...and your kindness to him even though he's a monster! He's made you a prisnor to his madness! A damnsel in destress!" Mat exclaimed. If he was trying to drill something into my brain it wasn't working. "He's made you believe all this s**t! Made you turn on your friends...and me! He's brainwahsed you! Can't you see that!?" He exclaimed. "Lelouch...has done nothing to me!" I yelled. "He's done something to your mind and heart! Because now your hiding your own face from the world! With a mask! Just like HE does! It's like you are his reflection! Like you've become him! Your hiding your face and living your life COVERED IN BLOOD!" I stared at him. I beant down in my croach position again. "MELISSA!" Mat yelled, (not in the sense as being angry...more or less I think he's just frustrated and pissed at Lelouch) as if he were trying to triger something in my memorys with him. "REMEMBER THAT KISS!" I stopped as I got ready to lunge. The kiss. The image went through my mind again. What about it! So I kissed him! It didn't...mean anything now. I had Lelouch! And Mat...well...Mat...had...nothing but that memory. I was sure Mat didn't have feelings for me. Did he? Was he just messing with my mind...my feelings? Mat wasn't cruel I knew that for sure...but what was this moran (no offense you have to remember i'm practicly brainwashed...but not controled...there's a difference) getting at! There wasn't a point....was there? "What about it?" I asked. "you kissed me...you have feelings for me...but your just afraid to admit it...your afraid of disappointing Lelouch...and your afraid of getting hu-" "SHUT UP!" I yelled.

User Image I lunged at him. Mat drew his sword and blocked me with incredable speed as I came at him with my dagger. I tried to press down on his sword to force it out of his hand (me airborne in the air thanks to my wings) "You know it's true." Mat said. "I'm not afraid of anything!" I lied. I did a back flip to place some ground between me and Mat. I wouldn't let him mess with me! I wouldn't give him the plesure. He speed, faster then a torpedo almost, forward aiming not to hurt me but knock my dagger out of my hand. Not happening. I thrust the dagger into the air and it vanished in a cloud of purple sparkles. I reached for my sword that was scarbered at my side. I jerked it out from the scarberd and out swords clashed with a loud medal sound. Mat didn't seem to want to fight...just disarm me. To knock some sense into me though I had it all (yeah....not really...don't think so). I was trapped under Mat who was pressing his sword on mine either trying to break it in two or force it out of my hands. I could take him though. Just like Link and Ganandorf in Twilight Princess when there swords clashed together I forced my way back up. I wouldn't let Mat win. I would fullfil Lelouch's will....HIS WISHES! Using all the force I could I forced Mat away, and kicked him in the stomach and kicked him about 6 feet away from me. How's that for a fraile mermaid b***h's! Mat seemed taken back at how strong I had become sense I had been gone. I'd take advantage of his thinking state. I smiled devilish and lunged at him at my fastest speed running kinda like Marth did in Fire Emblem. I did a backflip once I was close enough to him and kicked his sword out of his hand and knocking him back on his back. I placed my sword back in the scarbered and the dagger appeared in my right hand again. I lunged forward again. He looked at me coming at him. He blew a powerful gust of wind at me. My guess the gust was only meant to knock the dagger out of my hand, cause I felt the wind coming at my right hand.

User Image I leaped into the air, ninja style, and then came back down and landed on top of Mat.I tried to force the dagger to the heart but he had his hands trying to pull my arms away. "Melissa, please! Think about what your doing!" Mat repeated. "Hey, Mat, guess who I...OMG!" I heard Aoi yell. Me and Mat looked up behind him, and saw Aoi standing there scared at what she saw. But with her was Anastasia. Looking in half fright...but staring at me mostly. She looked as if she knew me...and she did...she seemed confused about who I was. Like something had caused her to forget me completly. She seemed to want to help Mat so she charged up a ball of magic, and thrust it at me. Suddenly I was sent flying, and I felt my mask being thrown off my face from the impact. I slammed onto the deserted concret road of Sunset Town, and let out a scream. My dagger had been sent flying into the air, and I had taken a hard hit. Suddenly I saw the dagger coming down towards me, and then I let out a shriek of sheir agony as it took a slice out of my right wrist.

"Melissa!" Mat yelled. I tried to get up, but I was to badly scraped and brusied. I could only mangage to sit up on my a**. Suddenly Anastasia gasped. She knew the name Melissa from somewhere. She looked me dead in the face, and then it's like she remembered me all over again even if just a little. Mat approched me as I held my wounded wrist tightly trying to stop the pain. I took my hand away from it, and watched as the blood leaked out. I didn't feel so good all of a sudden. The sight of blood was never welcoming to me. I think Mat knew this too. Because once when he had come back from one of his adventures he was badly hurt on the arm, and he noticed I wouldn't look at the wound to much as I helped him patch it up. I covered it back up and looked away. "Here, let me help you." Mat said leaning down to help me. I jerked away and kicked him in the face knocking him back. "Owch...what the ******** hell! I'm just trying to help you! What the hell was that for!?" He exclaimed. I'd left a red spot on his cheek where I'd taken my heel and kicked him. He rubbed his cheek "Jeez!" He got up and approched me. I reached for the dagger with my right hand ignoring the pain and tried to throw it at him, but Mat used his wind magic to knock it away.

I couldn't trust him anymore. Not him...not Anastasia...not Aoi (though I didn't know her to well yet) I couldn't trust...anyone...but Lelouch. I had been a fool to think that Mat and Anastasia were my friends. Ana had attacked me...her friend. And Mat...all of them were convenced I had lost my mind. A tear escaped my eye as I looked at the ground. I watched as the dark spot of my tear hitting the ground appeared in the concret. "MELISSA!" I heard a frantic Lelouch cry. I jerked my head up and looked behind me. Mat and the others followed my gaze. My angel...my angel had come. "LULU!" I cried out to him, though he wan't that far away from me. Mat fell onto his back (making a small crater in the road), Anastasia stared confussed, and Aoi slapped her forehead. Mat jumped up from the ground "LULU! WHO THE ******** IS LULU!?" He yelled. Lelouch took his finger and pointed to his self. "Where the hell did you get 'Lulu' from?" Mat asked. Anastasia laughed. "I get it. Think about his name for a minute Lelouch. it sounds like 'Lu' at the beginning giving you 'Lulu'. It's her nickname for him." Anastaisa said.

User Image Lelouch ignored her, and leaned down next to me, and sweeped me off my a** into his arms. He kissed my forehead, and I swore I saw Mat growl or cluch a fist...maybe both...from anger...because he apparently loved me. I hinted jelousy. "Are you ok, Mel?" He asked calling me by one of my nicknames. Actually it was like Mat's nickname or pet name for me, which probably made him angrier that Lelouch was calling me by that. I clutched my wrist. "No...it hurts." I said looking up at him. He was taking in my state of apperance. My dress was a bit torn where I slammed into the concret the way I did. And I was scraped and brusised badly. I was covered in blood from my wound, and my hair was a complete mess all in my face. He held me close. I saw Aoi throw Mat his sword. Mat was ready to fight. "I'll fix that." Lelouch said to me. "Where do you think your going!" Mat yelled. "We have a score to settle!" "Another time!" Lelouch said. "COWARD!" Mat yelled as me and Lelouch vanished in thin air. He was pissed. Damn never thought Mat could be this frustrated. We appeared in Lelouch's place again. He sat me down in a chair, and went for some bandages and cleaning utensils. He came back and started working on my wrist. "Ow!" I squeeled as he started to clean it. "Sorry." Lelouch said. He sounded disappointed. "I tried." I said. "I know. But it's a lot harder now...he's got two people to fight with him. No...he's got five people helping him." Lelouch said wrapping the bandages around my wrist. "Thanks." I said. He kissed me. He left me be. I think he knew that's what I wanted right now. He went back to his music. I went to our bedroom to lay down. I still felt nause where I had seen the blood. I layed my cloths in the washing machine to clean and changed into another black dress that showed half my back, with past knee high black boots. (I still had my wings) I decided to pull my hair back in a ponytail, and took a black ribbon to it. I pulled on some gloves that went up to my elbows on. The dress tied around my neck. I wasn't the Melissa Mat, Ana, and Aoi had known before. I was a different Melissa. The mermaid princess had known had been destoryed...elimantated...and knocked of the face of the earth.she didn't exist anymore. My heart had had a change. A change from a angel to a demon...maybe half and half. I decided to change my hair and eye color. I changed my eyes to a light red color that was also purple in some lighting. And my hair I changed to a light gray/white/lavenderish color. Mat would still recognize me if he saw me again, thanks to his aura and wolf senses. My mask was gone.

User Image I layed down on the bed to think. I was confused. Why did I think of Mat so much? He was just a friend. I kissed him once...so maybe I had a bit of some feelings for him. He didn't feel the same did he? Was I having mixed feelings for him and Lelouch? Did I like them both? A love triangle. I needed air. I got up off the bed, and grapped two swords from the closet, and placed them in a scarberd at my side. I tried not to move my wrist to much where it was sore. "Going somewhere?" I heard Lelouch say from the door. "To get some air." I said. "I won't be long." "Forget about him, Melissa. He didn't care about you." Lelouch said. "If you use'd your Geass on me we wouldn't have to worry about that would we?" I said. He stifined. "I was only joking." I said. "Take your time." He said as I walked past him. "I will." I replied vanishing into the shadows (part of my abilities with shadow was I could move around in the shadows...as if I were a shadow).

I sat on the roof of a buliding in town again. I knew Mat, Ana, and Aoi were somewhere looking for me...resting...or something. Mat's reactions today were one's I had never seen before. Or one's I thought he wasn't capable of. He amused me. I couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Mat, we've searched this place a hundred times! She's gone!" I heard Aoi say. I peaked my head over the edge of the building. I could see Aoi and Anastasia looking tierd and frustrated, and Mat looking around him, looking for me no dought. "She can't be. I know she's around her somewhere. I can feel it." Mat said. "Mat, I know you have feelings for her. Truely I do. But you have to rest sometime. Your not machine. Your more or less human." Anastasia said. "Melissa would tell you the same thing." Aoi added. Mat didn't seem to listen. Though he looked tierd it seemed he didn't want to stop looking. "Go to bed if you want!" He staped from being tierd, cranky, and frustrated. "But I'm going to keep looking for her! It's the first time I've seen her sense she was stolen away from me! And that Lelouch character's posioned her mind and filled it with lies! I'm going to find her, I'm going to set her mind straight." Anastasia and Aoi left, but Mat stayed. I reached for my swords again. Maybe I should take advantege of him right now, and kill him....like Lelouch wanted. No. I decided. I'd had enought fighting for one day. It could wait. And I had to much on my mind already.

User Image I turned away from Mat, and held my swords tight in my hands. I glared over my sholder again to look down at him below. I noticed he'd seen me. And despite my change in apperance...he knew it was me. Thanks to his aura and wolf senses no dought. The sun had set. But it was one of those nights he didn't change into a werewolf though. He seemed nervous. I think he knew I had heard his conversation with Ana and Aoi. He stared at me half smiling. I think just seeing me was enough to make him feel a little better despite the situation. I looked away for a minute to look up at the moon, and then glanced back down at him. What was he doing staring at me? Was he admiring something. Some people would say I looked like a radiant angel in the moonlight. Was that what he was admiring. My apperance in the moon. What did he see. A mermaid or angel who's heart had been tanted, and turned dark. But still saw a mermaid inside who was still gentle, and pure. Whatever he saw he wouldn't stop staring. Why he didn't come running up after me...was beyond my knowledge. I looked up again at the cresent moon. It was beautiful. It's silver light on my pale skin was very peaceful. I wondered what I was to Mat. I turned my head to look back at him again, but fear struck me.

I looked out to the shore of the beach, and saw Jordan...with that girl Ryann! I gasped for hair where I had stopped breathing for a minute. My eyes wide staring at the beach where Jordan and Ryann were walking along the shore. That cheating basterd! Mat had followed my gaze and saw what had upset me. I tried to choke back my tears which wasn't working. I let out a whimper, and Mat looked up having heard me. I think it had just hit me. That I had lost love to that slut with Jordan. That he had lied to me when he kissed me in the lagoon. Played with my feelings, my mind and heart. I felt a tear run from the corner of my eye and down my cheek. I wanted to kill all of a sudden. Not Mat...but I wanted to kill Jordan and that girl. I wanted revenge! What had I done to deserve all these heartbreaks I'd had in life. Expecially my last one (the one with jordan). I was shaking half with anger, and half with tears of pain and hurt. I placed my swords in my scarberds while shaking with anger. I couldn't stand here much longer. I was about to break down, and I didn't want Mat to see. I motivated one of my feet back. I had to get away. The pain was to much. I'd been through enought pain today, and for maybe a lifetime. With one last glance at Mat, I ran for it as it begain to rain.

User Image

To be continued in Chapter 33...

Note: after this chapter until I am saved from Lelouch I will post in indigo/purple. Because next chapter I submit to darkness completly.





 
 
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