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OK so last weekend I went to the bowling alley + QZAR Friday night and Malibu on Saturday and had a blast at both and took LOTS of pictures for my myspace because my camera has a memory card which is so win^^ {God, too much Cam/Shadow time produced that phrase xD} I got to play pool at Malibu which was like my second time ever playing and it was awesome^^But throughout the week some s**t went down and I feel like some body part will explode if I don't vent about it here. I mean, what other reason do I write in this thing for, aside from being an electronic baby book? I've been attending Forest Hills Church for a good 3 weeks steady, which is like a record for me because I used to only show up about once a month, if at all, and I'm beginning to remember why. There are these girls there: Dumbass, b***h, and Akira's girl will be their names throughout this entry. I noticed they had a problem with me, but rather than outright say anything to me or ya know, do anything about it, they decided to giggle and point and annoy the absolute s**t out of me. So, I messaged b***h and when I couldn't get a straight answer, I messaged Dumbass. Now Dumbass told me that I made them not want to go to church because I was manipulative and always interfering with their relationships. I love how I can do all of this that I was accused of this by just showing up and barely saying a word to them. stare Apparently, giving Akira hugs every time I saw him pissed them all off because they thought I was all over him and flirting with him, but none of them said anything about it to my face. Imagine that. I love how bold we are behind our text and our computer screens, but God forbid we confront a girl face - to - face to let her know what the ******** is up. It was only through Dumbass that I found out what b***h's problem was. For a brief period of time, because she conveniently lives right down the street from me {and still prefers to hide behind myspace} , I walked down to her house just to vent, and occasionally go for walks with her. It made her upset that I never asked about her feelings and whatnot, but did I know this? No. Did she even once offer to put how she felt out there? Nope. It was much more fun to twist every word of my "confessions" to her little cronies and start a sercret Anti-Kitten Alliance, if you will xD Anyway, I'd like to think I was very mature about this whole situation; or at least more so than I wouild have been if presented with it a year or two before^^ The fact of the matter is, their words/hatred/dislike/whatever have not phased me, and I will continue to go to this church until God directs me elsewhere. I've had at least 4 other people in the church, two of which are in youth and have suffered through "the three stooge's" drama before, one of which was a parent involved in the situation, and the last of which is an older {and by older I mean about 2 years} friend, tell me that they are glad that I'm not letting the pettiness stop me from coming to church. I've realized {and told b***h} most of the things they have said about me, or teased me about, or hate me for are none of their concern to begin with. If you notice, I haven't really said anything about Akira's girl, because I honestly believe that to an extent, she's on the same side as me. Not exactly with me, but in the same part of the situation. I believe her so-called love for Akira {because looking at their relationship, I can't bring myself to say she loves him without it being sarcastic. Sorry, Akira.} is making her realize that not only are her friends idiots, but if she doesn't get her act together, she's going to lose Akira not only as a girlfriend, but as a friend to. Personally, I'd hate to lose Akira as a friend. He, Tork, and Shadow, are honestly the best friends I have ever had. People wonder why I hang out with mostly guys and this right here is why; because {most} girls are nothing more than manipulative bitches who have nothing better to do with their time than envy others and try to destroy what makes others happy....and then they wonder why they themselves are so miserable. I find better and more loyal female friends through Gaia than I do in real life. Not to offend them, but again, it's easy to say what we really think and feel through the internet and be miles away than to say "I dis/like you" in person. Zuki, savemefromthedark,stargazing girl, and the recently departed Lelar Bear {Yeah. How ******** up is it that while all of this was going on, I didn't get a chance to reconnect with one of my friends before her sister started messaging me with the horrible sickness she was going through? Every time I saw her name on my friends list I wanted to message her but pushed the thought aside. I will never do that to another friend, even if it means spamming the hell out of the ones that get on every day because no matter how far away Lelar was, she was a better friend to me than the girls I see twice a week in person.} I know I was sort of vague on details, but I believe that's best for this situation. However, there are plenty of myspace bulletins/messages that I can and probably will add to give you an insight on what I went through for about 4 days straight. It seriously got to the point where I didn't even want to log in to my myspace on those days because I knew there'd be a message from those idiots waiting for me.
Tork~ Recently I posted a bulletin out of pure and utter rage. I was pissed, really really pissed. But a friend over gaia talked to me that same very mourning and convinced me to delete it. Not because I thought I was wrong, but because it was not my place.But from what I heard someone saw it and is all mad. I didn't name any names I can deny it all and not only that, what are you going to do? Huh? Are you going to talk to my momy and dady? Ow noes I B so scared! I am no longer part of the youth hell I no longer want to be part of that church.So please just go away, I appreciate every little thing you have done for me and my family but I no longer want to have anything to do with that church what so ever I will still agree to play on Sundays and Wednesdays but as far as I'm concerned there is nothing left but hypocrites there. I made my peace with the Youth Leader a long time ago and think that she is doing her best to hold this group together.I am not held by you're chains of rules and things that are appropriate. I am nineteen and almost twenty, sure you could come tell me what I said was wrong, I won't really deny that. However you can not punish me, there is something in America called freedom of speech. You can't silence me just because you think I'm wrong.So bring it, because I live in the real world and have been trashed and destroyed by people over and over again at work.Just do me this one favor all that are forest hills youth an... Take the wooden table out of you're eye before trying to remove the splinter in mine.That is all.
Shadow~My friends keep telling me I shouldn't stop going to church because of the stupid s**t the children spread and start there. The fact is that it's not just the children it's the adults too. At least two of them anyway. One thinks that the girls do no wrong, the other thinks all men are horrible because she is hideous and lets face it. She isn't the brightest bulb in the box. And he fat a** daughter takes after her as well. It's sick how she tries to pin her problems on others because she hates herself. Pity really. The same could be said about the cow and her cadet that is unfortunately dating one of my best bros. They are both incredibly stupid and I can only wish that some day they pull their heads out of their a**'s and realize that the world is not at their control. They are but children and nothing more. All of them are. To indirectly talk s**t to people and start s**t online but you cant grow the balls to start s**t in person is pathetic. Oh s**t watch out! They are typing horribly misspelled insults at us! Holy s**t what do we do! Oh that's right, we rely on our intellect and just smile because in the end we have one. Intelligence wins over mental retardation. Now I will admit I have pretty much stopped going to that god awful church but not because the church was bad and not because the retards drove me away but because I have anger problems....I really do. To not go to the church is to not explode on the children. You see here I can vent and be reasonable but if I were to get any closer to he imbeciles than I had to I cant guarantee I wouldn't blow a ******** gasket and tell the whole damned room how I felt. Oh and if they think their boyfriends would do anything I just ******** laugh. One is almost as big as his girlfriend and the other is to passive to actually do anything. So to all who think I have just bowed out gracefully I haven't I am just trying to prolong the inevitable. Because in the end if the god that every one goes on about permits it I will let loose on the small circle of ********.
To give you points-of-view, these are the bulletins Tork and Shadow posted about the situation. As far as the messages are concerned, I will either post them in a "friends only" journal, or not at all.
 Sudoku Kitten · Mon Mar 09, 2009 @ 01:20am · 1 Comments |
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