i wish i only knew.
i wonder what it would be like if i died. How people would react. I bet most would just be shocked someone they knew died. But not as much as they would if they thought of me as a friend.
I am tired of all these happy comments. I am tired of happiness. All this smiles, that if you say the right words will turn to anger.
I did not see that reason to live a few months ago. I was seriously sad. I started cuttinng myself.. only in a way no one would see.
i was lonely.
In school, i jokingly told my friends how if Tony hadnt come back, id probably hurt myself. If it werent for Andrea and Jilly... there wouldve been no hope. If I hadnt met little andrea... Id probably be dead by now.
first i met lil andrea, and we started doing a play together. then i became buddies with tony.i was happy for a long time. but then my 'cool' friends started to slip away. I was okay. I still had some really good friends i hung with. But i was a bit sad.
Thats when tony left for alternative school. i dont know what he did. it was something to do with alcohol. I had lost everyone. except lil andrea. She still stood with me.
I eventualy met big andrea, her big sister being my big sisters friend. She was a pretty good friend. Eventually I met Jilly. Shes the best friend Ive had in a long time. Wed always talk about missing Tony.
But Inside, I didnt trust these people. My other friends slid away from me. Why wouldnt these?
But Tony came back. I am now happy again mostly. I now seee my true friends.
This may sound stupid. I have a feeling it does.
But.... I feel close to Lil Andrea. She stuck by me. Even when my world started slipping away. So even though Jilly is mad at her now, ill stick by both of them.
I miis my old friends tho. still.
they call me bonnie.[/align:a98f48d206][/color:a98f48d206][/size:a98f48d206]
 the riveting rose · Sun Mar 01, 2009 @ 02:32am · 0 Comments |
