"I remember when the biggest thing I had to worry about was looking cute, so people would like me. That was in third grade. I never knew life would be so terrifying, and so beautiful at the same time." -- Elly, Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Panic attacks. Realization. Heartbreak. Destruction. The breaking of rules. Rebellion. And, of course, coming out of the closet.
All of these things were painful factors of life for me as I started eighth grade. It was terrifying. I had thought that SEVENTH grade was horrible. And now that I'd started eighth grade... I'd never seen so many different people to help her socially in all her life, within just a few months. Mr. R, the counselor. You know, the one NORMAL people go to. They think they're weird for having to see a counselor at all. I remember just seeing Mr. R. And then, there was Ms. Webb. I had to see her, too. That was much more organized. Her room had COUCHES. And really pretty CARPETING. And I don't mean one couch. I mean four of them. And three armchairs.
Well, she didn't really appreciate deep writing. When I told her about my poetry and short stories, how some are a bit depressing, her mouth kinda went into this thin line. She did that a lot, and was pretty good at making sure the line was straight. I'm pretty sure other people got WORRIED when she did that. I wasn't worried. Okay, maybe a little. I didn't want the school to think I was unstable or anything stupid.
Well, it came off as peculiar at least, because the next person I went to was a clinical INTERN. Really, that's what they said. With the emphasis on "intern" and everything. All of it was so alien to me... I was new to the "I need help" idea. It was so strange.
The clinical INTERN talks really fast. And she has memory issues or something, so she writes down everything I say. All of it is really unnerving. I'm not sure how to even try to understand her. Maybe I'm not supposed so understand it all.
My name is Elly. It's time for people to know.
 FN Pixie · Thu Jan 15, 2009 @ 02:04am · 1 Comments |
