Ya, forget New Year's Eve. Why focus on the New Year when we don't know what it has. It is untold. So, let's focus on the Old Year's Wake instead.
This year has been a rollercoaster ride. I regret some decisions relationship wise, but outside of that all else is well. The hardest thing about it all is that I honestly found an appreciation for love, and now that I have, it is too late. I finally cherish those moments and all the other lil' things I've been taking for nothing up until now. And it is a shame. But ah well.
On top of that, girls have just been taking advantage of my kindness and generosity as I try to feel things out. Yet again, ah well. I live and learn. The problem is I've exposed myself so much this year that I'm done with it. Love to me is as I have been saying for the past 4 months - it is a fallacy. I'm done with trying but at the same time I don't want to sit and wait it out.
Many say you shouldn't look for love, love will find you. Oh really? If we were to ally hypothetically just wait for love to find us, who will be doing the looking? Someone has to or nothing will happen or change. I will be as proactive about it as I can.
School has been great though. Best year ever scholastically speaking. On top of that I tutor now which pays well enough. I can't complain. And I started DJing this year too. My first jobs ever and they are jobs I love. Can't complain.
I even returned to Gaia after almost a whole year or more of minimal activity. That is the most surprising thing of all. But it is good to be back.
When it comes to life, things seem pretty set. I have just become needy/lonely and just don't want to do it alone anymore. I've had too many good things and I have rejected them all. No more. Let's hope '09 will be filled with good memories, bad memories, lessons learned, but most importantly...hope...
 Dirteh Old Man · Mon Dec 29, 2008 @ 12:06am · 0 Comments |
