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Okay, I was walking down the parking lot of the mini mart, until a fissure appeared right in front of me. A strange red guy flew out of the fissure, then it closed. He landed on the ground, and walked to me. He said, "Are you kooljake12?" I was afraid to answer, but I did anyway, "Um, yeah, why?" He answered back, "Allow me to introduce myself: I am Soga, the Gaia Devil." I was wondering if he was a devil, because of the fact that he has red eyes, red hair, red clothes, and he had horns, but there was one thing missing, so I asked him "Where is your tail then?" he replied, "That is part of why I need your help, you see, last week, some drunk noob came up to me and said dirty jokes to me, then I tell him "Um, ok?" He says, "Hey, whats that red arrow thingy on your butt?" I'm like "What? That's my tail, moron." He chopped it off and said "Whatever, you f**. I'm gonna take this home, and *burp* I don't know, maybe keep it in my stash or something? LOL" I could tell he was not only a noob, but a retard, even if he wasn't drunk. Will you help me get my tail back? The noob's address is 5 Barton 738050." I replied, "Sure, I have a secret weapon that will scare the heck out of that f**." The Devil said, "Okay, meet me at my lair in Hell, I mean my perfectly normal house!" I said, "Okay, but what do I use to get there?" He said, "Here is a portal machine, read the instructions attached to it before using it." I said, "Okay." I headed home and brought the machine with me.