Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

this is an asisgnment that i have in school. read it and tell me how it makes u feel and what u think.




To feel cold, alone, and like someone’s watching you, or as safe as a fox that just got caught on a farmers land in the daylight. A metallic taste in your dry mouth like battery acid. The smell of fear churning your stomach making you want to vomit. The sight of an empty room or a room full of people. Fear of people or no one at all. Feeling that nowhere being safe. That everyone is out to get you. Safety is something that you can never reach even when within your group. That nagging voice saying someone coming to get or hurt you, the voice you can never get rid of. A place where everything’s fine and that your safe and loved doesn’t exist. No matter who or what your with or do u can always be hurt by maybe a boyfriend when he brakes your hears or by a back stabbing friend. This means you will never be safe no matter where you are or what you do. Mabey at school. Kids milling all around, kids quiet but violent. Teachers gone fights break out kids screaming “fight” , kids running away, kids wide eyed with fear. Back stabbing b****s and cheating b******s. never nice always mean. from queen bees to nerds lashing out if you get too close, don’t fin in here or there so alone no friend just loneliness. All alone never safe, always made fun of always attacked by words, fists, or knives. Always looking back wondering when they are going to come for you, if you will survive this time, if you can handle the abuse of their names like, whips across your back…over and over they hit until finally you cannot handle the pain and u enter darkness forever but you know even in the haven of darkness there is never any safety. In the end you realize that no matter who your with, what you do, or where you are there is never any safe haven. Even in darkness, with people, or all alone in a room with the door locked something will always go wrong and you will feel pain whether its from self made cuts or from the sting of words the damage is already un erasable from the moment it all starts. The feeling of someones touch now makes you cringe, the nicest people or their words can feel like a slap across the face. But in the end you know that the damage is done, all your loved and safe feelings are gone, and all that’s left is a lonely and empty feeling that will be there forever and will never go away ever………