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I am giving up on my infatuation. It is quite obvious that he doesn't share my feelings and will not reciprocate (I think that's the proper word). All I'm doing is making him feel awkward and nervous. It really hurts. but the truth hurts. Lying to myself and hoping to see some trace evidence of affection towards me, is only hurting myself even more.
I love him, and even as I write this, I'm hoping I'm wrong. But it wouldn't make sense. What would he see in me? What would anyone see in me? I'm an awkward, clumsy girl, who dresses badly, and is ugly beyond belief. I'm short, and I can't carry on a conversation. I can barely maintain a light friendship with him. It'd be best if I just simmered down.