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Reluctant Protagonists
We walk on two legs, not on four. To walk on four legs breaks the law. What happens when we break the law? What happens when the rules aren't fair? We all know where we go from there; back to the house of pain...
I had to drive out to Leavenworth yesterday, which is never what I consider fun. Practically the only reason for it was to do some patch work on a uniform, and perhaps see about a new class A jacket for my brother when he goes off to his next Army ball. I didn't get a whole heck of a lot of sleep the night before, so I was dragging the whole time in the PX. >.< Though I did get entered into a raffle to win a free piece of jewelery there! O.O However, it seemed to be a bit fixed, so I wasn't that disappointed in losing. razz Then I almost fell asleep in front of the barber, which could have proved a mortal mistake in my case, but my hair was unscathed thankfully. There wasn't much the rest of the trip, so I'll just move right along (the drive home was pretty monotonous too)...

My money making schemes seem to be paying off on Gaia so far, because now I've got two Collectibles for a given month without having to buy a single cash card! ^_^ That makes me pretty proud, so I hope the price goes up severely in a year, so I could sell one off and wear the other if when I feel like it. Though, I'm itching to buy a third, but I don't exactly have enough for that yet. So I'm up in the air with scrapping these two (which were practically steals when I bought them), and playing the market again until I have enough for more stone gauntlets/mushrooms, or I can keep blogging/foruming/surfing/gaming until I have enough while I'm praying that they don't have price raises while I'm trying to buy. ^^; I'm sure I'll think of something, but until now I can feel proud of my small accomplishment. ^.^

In other (RL) news, I've been thinking of saving up for a tanto style Ka-bar. You know, for the tasks that a cheap folder just can't keep up with. Why the tanto style? Why not? I've never had one yet, so I figure I'd break from classic survival knife design for a change. I've also got to see about being hired though, so I can replace the void caused by such a purchase too, which hasn't been happening lately... >.< I keep sending out applications at places that have signs posted, but no dice. O.o I've also got some games and a wireless adapter to buy too, I mean, I haven't had much fun in ages since my paychecks stopped coming in. >.<;;;

I was about to see Quantum of Solace the other day though, so that WOULD have been fun. But something got in the way of that, so I skipped out on the movies. I do wonder what it'd be like, whether it'l feel like the short story it's based on, or if it will feel like another film where people throw money at special effects again. I hated the Bond movies when they softened characters and tried so hard for the "wow" factor. I'm really hoping that they hit another ball out of the park with this one like they had with Casino Royal and Goldeneye... >.< Those are probably the best Bond movies to date. I do however expect something the likes of the other Brosnan Bond movies though... Sadly...

Everything else seems to be going so-so. I'm beginning to remember a lot about a lot of languages that I don't even remember being able to speak lately ever since I dropped out of classes this semester... O.O What gives? I'm dumb, therefore I'm smart? Actually, it's probably because a lot of the stress is off of me now, so my brain isn't fried. My knees and ankles could use a bit of work. The weather and inactivity make it hard to get around sometimes, but I'm hoping the supplements I'm taking will curve the edge off of the hard days a bit until I work back into shape to where I don't have to worry about it anymore. I'm still getting myself fed too, so that's bound to help. I'm surprisingly well with my appetite despite how depressed I've been, but I'm not going to look a horse in the mouth, because I'd starve to death if I let depression drive my body.

I do seem to be getting over things a bit better than before, but I still feel terrible. I can't get over the fact that I see a horrible person when I look in a mirror, because that's not who I am inside, but I suppose I've learned who I trust enough to talk to when I'm distraught and delirious enough to say anything... -_- I'm still a bit burned about being lied to so much though, even though I do believe the things she says to me. It's weird, I want to be her friend, but all the research I've done kinda points to some rather questionable results... >.< I mean, seriously, I don't know what to feel about the most of it, and I just want to know the truth of it all from her, so I can move on and get my closure. Most of all, I probably want to know if the feelings were real, and if the feeling I have now is real. Hopefully I'm not banished from her life for good, so we can fix the broken communication we've had since we've met, and to heal wounds. I don't know, what I'm hoping for, but I just want to stop hurting so much. I'm still not even sure how I feel about dating anybody again quite yet though, so I hope nothing comes by to twist that knife on me.

Until next time! *snoooze*





 
 
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