October 20, 2008
It's like 12 AM... I'm really tired but, I can't sleep..
;-; I'm in depressing mood. And I have been for about 3 days now...
=[ I haven't really told anyone why, yet. Except Heather, and another person.. Since, I'm kinda down I guess... I bet you know what time it is. No not muffin time.... idiot...
SAD POEM TIME::
For you my heart will alway ache,
When I'm with you it's like I'm not even awake,
But, in a dream where everything I ever wanted comes true,
And, all I ever wanted was you,
I see your bright smiling face so happy so bright,
For once everything is going just right,
The birds are singing,
The bells are ringing,
We get a little closer and you say,
"I love you."
I feel happiness and say, "I love you, too.!"
I lean in for a kiss,
So nervous I almost miss, ((NICKELBACK TY!))
Then I hear a distorted sound,
I sit up and look around,
I find myself in my bed,
I had just thought it all up in my head,
It was all something I had just dreamed,
I knew nothing could go so perfect as it had seemed,
For I knew,
That I could never have you,
I don't deserve you,
I tell myself so but, I know it isn't true,
So you see,
It's all just me,
I'm the one to blame,
I'm the one that should be put to shame,
I always put myself first,
Just because I feel like my heart is about to burst,
Doen't mean I should hate her,
Or that I should envy her so greatly,
Honestly, I say this but can't do so,
I feel as the lowest of low,
Now, it's time to do away with me,
You tell me not to do so but,
don't you see?
I'm the problem, I covet you,
All I ever wanted was you,
But we all know that want will never be satisfied,
When I figured that out I died,
Died inside,
Call me mad,
Call me insane,
But these feelings I just cannot hide,
They are just something I can no longer contain,
So now I write this to you,
Showing my love is true,
And I will always covet you,
I hope you will find this note,
I thought as I fastened the rope around my throat,
I bit my tongue,
I stepped down,
And I was hung,
The note read,
"Dear ___________,
I am filled with dread,
I know that it would be better of if I was dead,
You don't need the burden of me,
Say I'm wrong but don't you see,
Your life is better of without me,
As I end this note I have so very much
to say to you, but as you see,
I must hide these and keep them to me,
Because, I do not want to start trouble,
I have these last three words I must write to you,
I hope they are enough to tell you, why I must
make these words come true, and end myself,
for the sake of you,
"I love you.""
((HOW I WISH HE WOULD RESPOND}}
There it all was in bold ink,
I felt my heart sink,
Deep within my body somewhere,
I was filled with such despair,
I let her down,
I showed a deep frown,
As tears rolled down my face,
I felt like such a disgrace,
Had I been wrong,
Wrong, all along?
Should I have stood along her side,
She couldn't tell me her feelings so she lied?
Who knows how many times she must have cried,
All for me,
why couldn't I see.
When she was here with me,
I brushed through her long brown hair,
I never realized how much I actually did care,
Then a loud noise erupted
And I woke up so rudely interupted,
There I saw the mirror in which I deeply stared,
Everything that had just happened had been a nightmare,
As I arose from bed,
I knew in my head,
Exactly what I was going to do today,
For my heart had been given away.
And with her I would no longer stay,
And I went to be with the person who truly cared,
At first I was abit scared,
That the dream was a lie,
But, as soon as I asked no one could deny,
There was no one who loved eachother more than her and I.
View User's Journal
biggrin ???
 |
